


Astroboy

by sublimeWaves



Series: EXO Challenges [17]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Art, Astronomy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18104405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublimeWaves/pseuds/sublimeWaves
Summary: Sometimes, Kyungsoo looks at his friends and wonders how they have discovered something that makes them so happy.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> There are some uses of astronomy terms in this fic. If they are wrong, then please point them out so I can fix them.

**I**

The noise is almost unbearable when Kyungsoo walks into the pizza place. The restaurant is packed and big screens flash rapidly as a play by play of the latest games play in slow-mo. Pitchers of beer line wooden tables and the smell of grease makes Kyungsoo wish he had any type of hand sanitizer now. A way too perky girl stands at the hostess stand. She’s chewing gum and Kyungsoo tries not to look disgusted at each smack of the girl’s lips.

“The wait is thirty minutes for a table,” the girl informs him as she looks him up and down, unimpressed with what she is seeing. Kyungsoo’s head throbs. She continues to frown. “Are you looking for a party or something?”

“Park,” Kyungsoo says as he tries to look at his phone for any hint of where his friends are sitting. No messages.

Typical Chanyeol. 

The girl picks up a pen and scans the computer as she goes down the rows.  Her tongue clicks where she reaches the end. “Right this away.”

The hostess weaves in between girls and guys who are cheering on something on the TV and Kyungsoo gets beer sloshed on his shoes. He wishes he could bathe in hand sanitizer right now. He passes a group who have gotten their food and he curses the souls, aka his friends, that is making him come here and spend money. The pasta is dripping in grease and salt and the cheese is falling off unnaturally.  It’s been reheated in a microwave. Kyungsoo can do that at home.

A dark corner holds stairs. The atmosphere gets better as they ascend the steps. Groups of people eat in dimly lit corners. The noise of downstairs is a bit muffled.  It makes Kyungsoo feel dirty. He never likes it when it is Chanyeol’s turn to pick.

His friends are seated at a booth. Chanyeol and Jongin are sitting next to wall with Sehun next to Jongin. As usual, Sehun is on his phone as Jongin looks like he is about to fall asleep, dark shaggy hair obscuring his face.  Chanyeol spots Kyungsoo first, face lighting up and waving him over. “Yo, over here!”

Kyungsoo is only five feet away, but that doesn’t stop Chanyeol’s booming voice making him flinch.  Even with the muffled noise, the voice still goes straight to his throbbing head. He takes the seat next to Chanyeol. “You’re still the loudest, even here.”

Sehun snorts as he takes his eyes off his phone. A small smirk appears on his lips as he leans towards Chanyeol across the table. “Ten seconds.  I win.”

He stretches his hand out and Chanyeol makes a sour face. With his new hair it makes him look ridiculous. Two weeks ago, Chanyeol let Victoria dye his hair and he got the most awful blue streaks that makes him look like a blueberry. He’s been trying to hide his hair under big beanies and wire framed glasses.  Chanyeol now looks like a cross between a wannabe hipster and a five-year-old.

“Did I miss something?” Kyungsoo asks the group.

“Hun and Chanyeol had a bet about how long it would take you complain about the place,” Jongin says.

“You failed me, Soo!” Chanyeol whines as he finds a five and hands it over to a smug Sehun. “I thought you would be polite enough to wait at least five minutes!”

Kyungsoo eyebrows come together in confusion as he gives Chanyeol a look. Chanyeol looks back at him innocently. It is Jongin who finally brakes the silence, “when has Kyungsoo been polite to you, Chanyeol?”

“Why don’t you ever respect me?” Chanyeol pouts. “My groupmates said the wings here are bomb!”

“I doubt this place will surprise me,” Kyungsoo says truthfully. “Hand me a menu.”

“We’ve already ordered,” Jongin says.

As soon as Chanyeol passes the menu does Kyungsoo understand why they picked this restaurant. The front cover has a picture of a plate overflowing with wings dipped in an unnaturally orange sauce. The words ‘All You Can Eat Chicken Wings’ in gaudy font are plastered all over the picture. He wonders what colorblind kid who just learned word art designed this menu. Maybe they should have studied more. Kyungsoo sighs as he understands what is going on. “Oh, don’t tell me you have a bet going.”

He looks up to a smiling Chanyeol and Jongin. Sehun is back to scrolling through his phone, a disappointed look on his face, shoulders sagged in defeat. “Yep,” he says, popping the p at the end. 

Kyungsoo hates when Chanyeol and Jongin try and eat more than the other. Jongin always wins and then Chanyeol moans about it to Kyungsoo for the next three weeks. The throbbing in Kyungsoo’s head hits harder as it blooms into a full-on head ache. At least he has Sehun to suffer through it with. Kyungsoo manages to flag down a waiter to tell him his order.

“I haven’t eaten all day,” Chanyeol says. “We had to lug everything to the stage for orchestra today.  Those pianos are heavy, and I could go for some food right now.”

Sehun shakes his head. “Jongin is still going to win.  He’s a dumpster for chicken.”

Jongin nods his head in agreement before sighing. “I had two back to back sessions and didn’t have time to eat lunch. And with all the practices I got going on, I think I’m still going to win. I really should have thought through about being a TA for two classes this year.”

“I made that mistake last year,” Chanyeol says. Kyungsoo remembered Chanyeol’s complaints when he was a TA for both Guitars for Beginners and Piano for Beginners. He vividly remembers the screams of _Its just four notes! Four fucking notes!_ before Chanyeol fell head first into a table after a few too many shots. Kyungsoo and Jongin both still curse the stairs leading to Chanyeol’s apartment and his dead weight. “Skipped way too many math classes trying to catch up on sleep.”

“Going to those classes wouldn’t have helped you,” Kyungsoo says blandly as he looks back at the menu. The noodles look overcooked in the pictures and those are supposed to be photoshopped. He makes sure to skip over the pasta section.

“Hey, that teacher had it out for me!” Chanyeol puts a hand over his heart, offended. He then waves his hand, making sure to hit Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I’m a music major, anyways. What do I need math for?”

“Isn’t there like a thing between math and music? If your good in music, you should be good or math or something?” Sehun asks, looking up to Chanyeol. Phone still flashing

Chanyeol leans back to the corner of the booth, making himself more comfortable by spreading out his long legs that are cramped under the table. Kyungsoo makes sure to kick his ankles when he starts feeling the personal invasion. The other doesn’t seem to mind at all.  “Not for my brain.” He turns to Jongin, deflecting, “hey, when’s your thing?”

Jongin rolls his eyes up, thinking for a second. “Which thing? I’ve got the ballet coming up, but I also have a contemporary master class I’m going to with a visiting professor, and also a small hip hop jazz thing that I’ve been working on with a couple guys.”

“The big one,” Chanyeol says, he waves his hand as he thinks. “The literature thing, the uh- the Romeo thing! You’re going to be Romeo or something.”

“I’m going to be Tybalt,” Jongin says dryly. “It’s the Wednesday after next which all of you are going to.”

Kyungsoo nods his head while Sehun makes a small noise of agreement. On the other hand, Chanyeol sighs in relief.  “Oh good.  I got asked to play piano for one of the jazz ensembles next Wednesday and I thought I overbooked. Vic got a date or something and asked me to fill in.” He frowns and points at Jongin accusingly, “you never told us about your hip hop thing.”

“Because it is during my art show,” Sehun answers as he playfully glares as Jongin. 

The other grimaces.  “The guy got us a slot at this nightclub without telling any of us. I think I might be able to make it and even if I don’t then I’ll just go to the next one.”

Silently, he is relieved that he doesn’t have to go see Jongin dance. He loves watching the younger one dance but he wouldn’t want to go to a nightclub and wouldn’t want to disappoint him by not showing up. Although he is sure he could just give the need to study excuse. Something that he should be doing right now. He checks his watch and frets for a second. Maybe he should go home? Catching himself, he turns to Sehun. “What’s the show about?

Sehun frowns at his phone and finally puts it face down on the table. “Motion and Machines.”

“Sounds new age,” Jongin says.

“Jongin’s a machine,” Chanyeol says as Jongin makes a face. “You are. You’ve got those robot moves. Remember at that dance off last year and you were so plastered?”

Jongin looked a bit disgusted. “I never want to talk about that night.” He turns to Sehun. “There’s no flash photography at the ballet but you can come during the dry run once we get our costumes and all. The flash would prepare us for unexpected happenings from the audience. The freshmen really suck at it.”

“You’re a sophomore,” Chanyeol accuses. “I don’t think you can really talk.”

Two waiters bring their food out. Two platters of wings and then two small plates of a pasta and a calzone. The wings look unnatural and plastic under all the sauce and the smell is so overwhelming it almost makes Kyungsoo gag. Sehun seems to be in the same boat as he looks at Jongin in disgust who immediately picks one up.

“These are revolting,” he comments but Chanyeol and Jongin don’t hear him as they start to go to town. Both have always been messy eaters, but this was sickening. Kyungsoo scoots away from Chanyeol a bit to get away from the splash zone.

Not that Kyungsoo’s meal looked much better. His calzone’s dough is hard and hot on the outside while being cold and gooey in the middle. If this restaurant microwaves everything, then where are these even made? The inside reveals a salty marinara imitations and borderline inedible pepperonis that are very shiny from all the unnatural grease. At least he doesn’t have to look at the wings.

Sehun looks to the other two as he takes a bite of pasta, “indulgent fat asses.”

Kyungsoo finds solace in the mediocre pepperoni in his calzone as he tries to drown out the sight next to him. Suddenly, a pasta noodle lands inside his calzone. Across from Sehun, is smirking a bit. “Hey, do you have time in your studying schedule? Chanyeol and Jongin are going to pass out into the uber you will inevitably call for them, but tonight is Astronomy night at the physics building and I want to go with someone.”

The younger twirls his pasta and stuffs it into his mouth. “I’ve got nothing for this show on Wednesday and I am kind of freaking out about it.”

Kyungsoo’s quick glance over to Chanyeol and Jongin confirms that they have heard nothing. Looking at his watch, something in him immediately responds with rejection. His notes are ripe for revisioning and he should probably go back to them as soon as possible. Yet, he does not want to disappoint Sehun. He has been stressing over his shows lately. One of his professors got on his case during his last showcase two weeks ago about not liking any of his leaf pictures. Kyungsoo has never seen someone so angry about plants before.

“Sure,” Kyungsoo says, pushing his meal away. The fact that people come here to enjoy this food is mind boggling to him.

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Really? Well, good. I didn’t want to go alone.”

A hand flies across Kyungsoo and grabs his water glass. Chanyeol drinks the whole thing in one go. He slams it down. “You never say yes to me!”

“We go to all of your concerts,” Sehun responds as he goes to pick up his phone.

“But Kyungsoo here almost never says yes,” Chanyeol starts out as he goes to steal Sehun’s water glass as well, dirty fingers staining the glass. “I’ve invited him to practice, meals, and sessions to stalk Jongin at ballet practice but sometimes I am surprised you show up to Friday night meals with all that studying you do.”

“I don’t study that much,” Kyungsoo waves off. It’s a lie, one that Kyungsoo knows well. So, he deflects. “Even if I didn’t have to study I wouldn’t stalk Jongin.”

“Thanks,” Jongin say, mouth full.

Chanyeol finishes Sehun’s glass and picks up another wing. “All you do is study, though. Day in and day out and every second in between.” Chanyeol scrunches up his face. “ _I’m sorry Chanyeol but I have to study. Not tonight Chanyeol I have a test coming up._ ”

“That is an awful impersonation of me,” Kyungsoo says, a bit offended at the performance. “I’m not that bad.”

“Sometimes,” Jongin says as he wipes his hand on his napkin, finished with his first platter as if it was a breeze.

“You know, Vic is studying statistics just like you and she is graduating with honors. Yet, she spends a lot less time studying than you do.”

“Not all of us are geniuses like Vic,” Kyungsoo says as he grips the edge of his shirt and balls it up. “It just takes me a bit longer.”

“But, you’re smarter than everyone else,” Chanyeol says like it is a fact that everyone knows.

It’s a lie.

Kyungsoo bets that Victoria doesn’t struggle to look at her books every night. All he does is stare at the words and frown. His notes are impeccable and artfully put together yet he can’t get himself to read a single line. No one received better grades than him in any of his classes last year, yet he doesn’t know how he ever achieved any of them. This year Kyungsoo is taking classes all pertaining to his major instead of just general education classes and he worries that he won’t be able to keep up with his momentum.

But, Chanyeol wouldn’t understand that. None of his friends would. So, he keeps his mouth shut. “I’m not that smart, but I do know that you are losing.” Kyungsoo motions to Jongin who has started to put some of Chanyeol’s wings on his plate. The blue haired man groans loudly as he starts to dig back in.

It takes twenty minutes for Chanyeol to admit defeat and for Jongin to feel full enough for them to leave. Kyungsoo does end up getting the two an uber. The taller is not looking good as he keeps his hands over his stomach and groans all the way down the stairs of the restaurant. Jongin looks like he is about to fall asleep on the spot, but that is not that unusual for him. Sehun waves them off as the uber leaves.

“Let’s get going,” Sehun says. “I want to get there a bit early to see if I can shoot some of it before the sun sets and I lose the natural light.”

Sehun takes out his nice camera from his backpack and they head off towards the physics building for astronomy night. The younger fiddles with the camera the entire way. Knowing next to nothing about cameras, Kyungsoo leaves him in peace as he concentrates. The other has tried to tell him multiple times about different cameras and light techniques and Kyungsoo has yet to retain any of that knowledge. Not that he was trying too hard to do so. He’s trying to hard to recall what will be on his next wage theory test

The sun is still out but Sehun says that Astronomy night starts at sunset, so they will make it in time. The walk is a bit far but not for college students who walk everywhere. Kyungsoo’s only memories of the physics buildings are of some of his lower level math courses being there. It’s an old building, one of the oldest on the campus. There’s a certain musky scent that tends to invade one’s nostrils making the nose impervious to anything else but hidden mildew.

They get to the front door that has a small piece of colorful paper with planet clip art announcing that it is astronomy night tonight. Sehun stops Kyungsoo from going in. “Let me get a shot of the entrance.”

It’s a nice entrance with some molding on it, but Kyungsoo doesn’t see anything special in it. But, he doesn’t know art. He’s gone to so many of Sehun’s shows and what counts as art or not is lost on Kyungsoo sometimes. Sehun takes a long time setting up the shot and messing with the camera. He finally gets a shot and they go through the doors.

“You keep fiddling with your camera,” Kyungsoo comments.

“I want to get it just right,” Sehun admits. He frowns as he looks at the pictures through his screen. “I think I’m losing my touch.”

The younger sighs. “I know Chan rails on you about all the studying but I wish I studied a bit more. Maybe if I did that then I could give the professors what they want.”

“All of your shows have been successful. I’m sure that they see that,” Kyungsoo says. It’s the truth. All the shows have been successful, even if Kyungsoo doesn’t understand why the art itself is praised. Sehun has always taken beautiful pictures. He has always been confident in his work and the change is a bit jarring. “Is this about that one guy that didn’t like your leaf pictures?”

“A bit,” Sehun admits. “None of my professors have liked anything that I have shown them this semester. Something is always wrong like the angle or the lighting. The smallest details that only they would notice.”

“It’s only been a month into the semester. Just because you’re not doing well now doesn’t mean anything about the rest of the semester. I bet if you try harder that it’ll get better,” Kyungsoo says reassuringly. Hypocritically.

It does the trick as the tension in Sehun’s shoulders seems to unwind. “It will. Maybe they just don’t know my style yet. I know I’m better than at least half those hacks. You know, Zoom is in one of my classes again.”

Last semester, Sehun was paired for a major project with one other guy. The class was photography III and yet the guy was a complete disaster. He disappeared for two weeks in the middle of the semester and did very little work as he claimed that he was working ‘in the industry’. By far the worst part was that the guy did not know that one could zoom in on an object with a camera. He didn’t even know the zoom button existed until Sehun told him. Alas, a nickname, Zoom, was born and Sehun had to pick up all the slack and yet managed to pass the class.

“Well,” Kyungsoo starts, “you at least can’t be last in that class.”

The younger snorts. “Comforting.”

The physics building is old with peeling wallpaper and very tall. The roof held a gigantic telescope and the ceiling, although littered with old water damage stains, wasn’t on the verge of collapsing. Sehun and Kyungsoo peek into the main auditorium where the beginning lecture would take place. Afterwards, the whole group would go admire the stars on the roof. The auditorium had very few people, but they were there early. Kyungsoo thought it would be more crowded given that this is a free event open to not just students but also the public as well.

A small boy and his father walk by as they enter the auditorium and Kyungsoo goes to follow them but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. “It’s almost sundown. I want to see if I can find the president and take some pictures before the lecture.”

Kyungsoo nods and follows the other down the dark hallway. Afterschool hours left a creepy feeling to the usual crowded halls that Kyungsoo remembers. The younger hangs a left into an even darker hallway. He stops in front of an elevator with rusted mint green doors. This was the last moments of every single horror film right before something awful happens.

The loud bell announcing the arrival of the elevator almost spooks Kyungsoo. They step in and Hun presses R for roof and the elevator creeps upwards. They stand for almost a minute before they even make it to floor two. Sehun sighs, “I forgot that we should have taken the stairs.”

Kyungsoo’s brows creased together. “When have you ever been in a science building?”

Sehun shrugs. “I took an astronomy course last year. We had to come to this thing twice a semester and take notes on what we learned. Then, we had to look into a telescope and have one of the teachers sign off on it.”

The elder blinks as he thinks back. Sehun had only taken artsy based classes since they had met. The other talks about taking English and biology his first semester but nothing else. Especially not something recently. “I don’t remember you taking this class.”

“I took it as an elective. Thought it would be interesting and an easy A. I really liked it, but I really love photography. Also, you must have a graduate degree to an astronomer and I don’t think I could survive grad school,” Sehun says. Suddenly he turns to Kyungsoo. “Don’t tell Chanyeol about that. He gets weird about this shit.”

Chanyeol’s unwavering commitment to music and his dedication to achieve his dreams are admirable and a source of inspiration to his friends. And, Kyungsoo thinks, his detriment. “Just because he’s willing to sacrifice everything for the dream that he’s had since he is five does not mean that’s how everyone should be.”

Or willing to take that sacrifice, Kyungsoo adds, but doesn’t seem to be able to get the words out, throat constricting. He tries to not focus on it and turn to Sehun. The younger is smiling. “Thanks, Soo.”

The elevator opens right out onto a small corner of the roof that overlooks the northern part of campus. A turn to the left shows a door to the housing of the large telescope along with an older man guarding it, presumably a teacher. Around the telescope building are a bunch of large, but human sized telescopes and a few students sitting near them.

“I’m going to try and find the president and see if I get his permission,” Sehun says as he leaves Kyungsoo near the elevator entrance.

Kyungsoo goes towards the edge of the room to look towards the campus and wait. Its starting to turn to dusk and the sun is disappearing fast among the buildings. He faintly wonders if he can study from the notes that he took on his phone earlier in the day. It hurts his eyes a bit to look out due to the sun, so he turns his attention to the first telescope near him. Its large as it sits on the ground and is almost taller than he is. Its large and round, like a straight cylinder pointed straight towards the sky. With the naked eye, Kyungsoo can’t see many stars, but they live in a big city and he isn’t used to seeing any stars anyways. Not that he looks up to the stars that much.

“It’s a Dobsonian,” a voice says coming towards Kyungsoo from the direction of the elevator doors, “straight from the depths of the old chemistry building basement that flooded two years ago.” Kyungsoo startles a bit, pulling himself together as he looks towards the voice. It’s a student with messy blonde hair with large, thick-rimmed glasses. He’s also wearing a large, plain sweater that seems to almost eat his small frame, yet he has this big smile on his face and a shine in his eyes that is making him seem a bit bigger than he is. “A beaut if I’ve ever seen one. It’s not a twenty or a ten inch but it works pretty great.”

The student rests on the ledge of the building next to Kyungsoo. He leans a bit into Kyungsoo’s space, eyes locked on to the other’s before smirking. “I bet someone with eyes the size of yours might be able to see some really spectacular stuff tonight. The forecast predicts some great weather for seeing tonight.”

Kyungsoo blinks in response to the intrusion. His mind searches for the right words to respond to such blatant flirting. If this was Chanyeol or Jongin he could just slap them upside the head and insult him. This is not Chanyeol or Jongin, so he scrambles to say something else. He motions to the telescope. “It looks expensive.”

“You bet,” the blonde says, popping the b loudly. He cocks his head towards Kyungsoo. “May I ask what you are doing up here? Not that I don’t appreciate eager learns, I crave to indulge curious minds, but the lecture hasn’t even begun. We haven’t finished setting up.”

“My friend is looking for someone in charge and I am waiting for him to get back,” Kyungsoo explains quickly, a bit alarmed. Everyone looks so lax, he didn’t think he’d be questioned.

The other seems to laugh a bit at Kyungsoo’s nervousness. Kyungsoo walks a bit towards the telescope to see if he can find Sehun. He scans the area quickly and his eyes quickly spots Sehun and his platinum blonde hair. Baekhyun follows him, resting next to the large telescope. His eyebrows lift a bit when he sees Sehun. “The tall, hot platinum blonde? What a catch. You’re quite lucky.”

Kyungsoo quickly puts his hands up and shakes them. “We’re not together.”

The blonde sighs as he leans a bit onto the very expensive telescope, worrying Kyungsoo just a bit. “Shame. If I wasn’t basically married to my telescope then I would go for it. But alas, my telescopes and I are just going too strong.” He pats his telescope a bit too dramatically and straightens up as he realizes that Sehun was walking towards them.

“Are you Byun Baekhyun?” Sehun asks as he approaches them.

Baekhyun bows, playing it up with a couple waves of his hand. “Byun Baekhyun, Astronomy club president and ‘someone in charge’ at your service.”

“My name is Oh Sehun and this is my friend Do Kyungsoo,” Sehun introduces. “I’m a photography major looking to take some photos for an upcoming gallery. I wanted to ask your permission first to take a few pictures before we lose the natural light.”

Baekhyun smiles brightly, one of those people who smiles with their whole bodies and not just their mouths. “I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Only rule is that you don’t use flash.”

Sehun agrees, but Baekhyun is pulling him back quickly with a raise of his voice. “Oh, second rule is that you have to advertise Astronomy night! This thing always needs more publicity. You would think free things would get people to show up but…” Baekhyun trails off a bit.

Sehun nods his head and Baekhyun gives him another big smile. The younger goes off to take his pictures and Kyungsoo is sure that Baekhyun is busy but he doesn’t go anywhere and opts to turn his full attention onto Kyungsoo. “Hey, so are you like a photo assistant or a model?”

Kyungsoo snorts at the thought. “Nothing like that. I am just Sehun’s friend.”

“As he said,” Baekhyun says as if he doesn’t believe it. “Did he drag you here? Do you actually know anything about the event?”

“It involves telescopes,” Kyungsoo answers truthfully, shrugging his shoulders. “Sehun really wanted to get some good shots for his show and thought this would be something new and different.”

“You don’t sound interested,” Baekhyun says, almost offended.

“It’s not that that all of this isn’t great,” Kyungsoo says quickly, trying to mend the situation, “it’s just that I don’t really have time for anything like this.”

“What do you like to do then,” Baekhyun asks. “When you’re not accompanying your friend to photoshoots?”

“I’m a stats major. I need to take my time and study a lot.”

The blonde’s eyes roll. “That’s just your major. Are you part of any clubs? What do you do for fun?”

Kyungsoo is a bit taken back. He knows that he is a bit boring but he can’t think of anything else that he does. “I’m not part of any clubs but I have friends and I go to their events and we go out to eat every so often, usually.”

“Eating _is_ important. Got any good places? I spend most of my nights getting too much take out from that thai place across from the student center. It might be nice to try out a new place.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “My friends always choose where we eat, so I wouldn’t recommend any of them.”

Baekhyun laughs, large and loud. He laughs with his chest, jerking him back a bit. “At least you know what places to avoid.”

“What about you?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun spreads his hands out. “This mostly. I got a lot of telescopes and they take a bit of upkeep. I run the Astronomy club so I have to plan this event every month. But, I also like to drink wine while I look up towards the stars. Drive out to the middle of nowhere and set up a scope and really see space. I also like beaches and long walks.”

The other stops for a second and Kyungsoo thinks that he is done talking but Baekhyun starts up again. “I sing and I used to do acapella with one of the groups on campus. But, I had to stop this semester because I have a night lab during practice times so I had to give it up. I also like desserts, mostly brownies and doughnuts but I will eat anything if it has enough sugar in it.”

A bit in awe of the other, Kyungsoo tries to think of a way to respond to all of that information. Kyungsoo can’t even think about one thing that he does and yet Baekhyun seems to be able to seamlessly talk about many things to a complete stranger. Not only that, he talks like he is excited about the stuff that he just listed off. Kyungsoo hasn’t been excited for anything in months. He opts for a safe question. “How many telescopes do you have?”

“Six in my dorm room and this guy lives in one of the storage closets here in this building. I don’t have to room and the Professor has been really great about accommodating it.” Baekhyun pats it again. “I really only have three good ones and the rest are kind of crappy, but expensive. All of my scopes are heavy and expensive.”

“Sounds nice,” Kyungsoo says. He feels a hand on his shoulder and turns to find Sehun.

“You ready?” Sehun asks him. Kyungsoo looks around and realizes the sun has set.

Baekhyun perks up and takes his phone out of his pocket. “You two should get going. The lecture is going to start soon.”

He follows them to the elevator. As the doors close, he waves his hands frantically. “Have fun tonight!”

Sehun hits G from ground and he groans when they start moving. “We should have taken the stairs!”

Sehun only laments for a second before turning to face Kyungsoo. “What did you and Baekhyun talk about?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Nothing really important. He’s really loud mostly.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sehun waves off, disappointed by the response, “I overheard everything?”

“Then why did you even ask?”

“He said that I’m hot. That is not nothing, Soo! I need to know about these things,” Sehun whines. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as they wait.

The lecture has at most fifteen people. Half of them look like students with notebooks who were bribed with extra credit. Kyungsoo assumes Sehun was one of them last semester. The talk is almost an hour as a nervous grad student talks about research relating to sun spots. Kyungsoo looks at the small pamphlet (one piece loose leaf paper) with the upcoming lectures. The gravity wave lecture in two weeks looks much more promising than this one. Halfway through, he pulls out his phone as discreetly as possible and tries to read a bit of his notes.

The lecture ends and the whole group files out of the auditorium towards the elevators, waiting in bunches for the rickety thing. Sehun and Kyungsoo remember to take the stairs this time, not taking the chance of it finally heaving its last breath and having a rope snap. Sehun bounds up the stairs taking them two at a time but Kyungsoo struggles a bit and almost has to take a break before they make it.

“Come on slow poke,” Sehun calls down from two flights up as he continues up. He waits for Kyungsoo at the top of the stairs.

Night has fallen when they walk back onto the roof. The city lights are twinkling. The astronomy club members are not just sitting around hanging out, but actively engaging with the public. They talk about telescopes and offer for the public to look through them.

From the corner of his eye, Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun really selling everything about his telescope. A crowd forms around him and does not dwindle the whole night. His eyes shine bright as he talks and he talks animatedly, waving his arms everywhere as he describes simple physics concepts. He draws the people in and captures them with his knowledge. His voice cuts over all of the other chatter.

Kyungsoo cannot watch him forever as Sehun brings Kyungsoo inside the big telescope housing to take a look at Venus. He always thought that Venus was green, yet he only sees a yellow spec. Afterwards, Sehun goes off, leaving Kyungsoo to look at the city. In the background he can hear Baekhyun explaining about the work the observatories do. Sehun is only gone for a couple of minutes, yet Kyungsoo is so focused on Baekhyun’s speech it feels much longer.

He sees Sehun take a second to talk to Baekhyun during a small break in his speech. Afterwards, he takes his time to come collect Kyungsoo so that they can leave. “I invited him to my show on Wednesday.”

“Do you think he is going to show up?”

Sehun shrugs as they start the descent down the stairs.

Kyungsoo waves Sehun off as they separate when they leave the building. Sehun lives in another dorm with Jongin a couple buildings away. Sehun thanks him for accompanying him. Kyungsoo looks at his clock when he arrives back at his dorm and is delighted to find that it is only ten. Cracking open one of his textbooks, he gets back to work.


	2. II

**II**

Kyungsoo walks into the room and immediately he feels out of place. The gallery space has been turned into a sleek version of itself. Someone had put in effort to make it look like a gallery in an upscale neighborhood instead of the artsy college room that it usually is. The students were not wearing sneakers and hoodies but tight jeans and sweaters. Kyungsoo has never been a hipster, but now he feels like everyone around has automatically turned into one. Out of place with his ragged jeans, Kyungsoo makes his way through the small crowd. He passes someone with a bowtie and his heart rate picks up.

He should have stayed home and studied. He has a quiz tomorrow. What is he doing here?

Sehun looks like he fits right in, dressed sharply even with his dyed hair. Behind him is his collection of gorgeous photos. He wants to go talk to Sehun but he seems to be talking to someone important and he does not want to ruin this. So, he bypasses his friend to look at the photos.

The biggest picture is an intricate telescope that Kyungsoo recognizes from Astronomy night. A closer inspection reveals that it’s Baekhyun’s telescope. He turns to look at the others and stops in his tracks at one of the smaller pictures. He loses control of his jaw as he gawks.

It’s a picture of Kyungsoo.

It’s a picture of him leaning on the balcony and looking out towards the dark sky as the sun sets on the other side. Kyungsoo balls his fists in fury.

This is how Jongin finds him. 

“There you are! I’ve been looking for any of you. My thing got moved to next week. The club got a ‘better’ act and asked us to move. Oh, is that you? You look-” Jongin stops as he looks at Kyungsoo. “Oh. Um. I think I’ll just go get Hun.”

Jongin doesn’t waste any time bring Sehun over to Kyungsoo. He looks a bit apologetic with his hands in front of him. “So, before you say anything-”

“What’s this?” Kyungsoo cuts him off, hand pointing to the picture. He considers whacking the younger in the head with his program.

Sehun shrugs. “It looked good! What was I supposed to do? Not submit my best work?”

Kyungsoo is unimpressed. “Why did you even take picture of me in the first place?”

“I was doing a test!” Sehun tries to defend himself. “I know I should have asked you first, but I just couldn’t bring myself too. I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo sighs. The damage has already been done and it’s not like he is going to ask Sehun to take it down during the show. “Just make sure to never take a picture of me ever again.”

“Got it.” Sehun looks over to an older woman with a notepad beginning who has just stepped into his part of the exhibit. “I’ve got to go.”

Kyungsoo frowns as he turns to Jongin. “I told him that he needed to take pictures of you not me.”

“I’m a bit insulted to be honest,” Jongin says as he gestures to a picture on the other side of the telescope picture. It’s a picture of Soonyoung doing a leap in his Romeo and Juliet costume. “Soonyoung’s picture is here but not mine.”

Kyungsoo nods his head. He fiddles a bit with his program. “But what would you have Sehun do, not show the best?”

Jongin shoves him lightly, “Hey! I _am_ the best!”

“Maybe Sehun did it because Soonyoung got the Romeo part.”

Jongin shakes his head. “He might have gotten the Romeo part, but my part is flashier.”

“Maybe he got it because he doesn’t look exhausted,” Kyungsoo says, noticing the way Jongin’s eyes look like they want to close for a couple of hours. Then again, Jongin looks perpetually sleepy when he isn’t dancing.

“I’m just tired. The club was loud and the lights were shining directly into my eyes. I’m glad none of you went. It was kind of awful and I didn’t even preform.” Kyungsoo mentally gives himself a high five for avoiding that disaster. “I would’ve gone home, but one of my ballet teachers is coming here tonight and wants to talk to me. I’ve got to wake up.”

“If you smile big enough, then it might distract here from your eye bags.”

“You suck at motivational speeches,” Jongin says as he looks around the venue. He takes a step back to look behind a wall and visible sags before straightening up and smiling. He gives Kyungsoo a wave and Kyungsoo gives a look of sympathy as he disappears behind the wall.

Kyungsoo walks around exploring the rest of the exhibit. It’s getting late and he should head home soon. He has a quiz tomorrow, he really doesn’t have time for this. He panics for a second before realizing he has flash cards on his phone.

He’s looking for a dark place to hide when  he turns a corner and finds the best part of the event: free food.  The number one thing in all college student’s heart. The fact that free food was at an event and that is wasn’t pizza makes Kyungsoo’s heart sing as he makes a beeline to the buffet table.

It’s less of a smorgasbord and more of a dessert table, but Kyungsoo doesn’t complain. Instead, popping a profiterole in his mouth and savors it. Kyungsoo can easily tell that it has been previously frozen, but his standards are low for free food. The crème filling is lemon flavored and although the puff pastry is a bit soggy on the inside and a bit burnt on the outside due to the microwave that it was probably in, he still eats four of them.

He is a bout to move onto the palmier, but he is frozen when he sees Baekhyun across the table. Baekhyun is already staring at him, picking up small desserts and popping them into his mouth like candy. Not even taking any time to savor them. His eyes don’t move away from Kyungsoo. He’s in jeans and a faded band shirt, yet he has the confidence to walk into this event underdressed and still look like he fits in.

“You came,” Kyungsoo says, a bit surprised. Sehun had invited him, but Kyungsoo thought Baekhyun had just said that he would come out of politeness. Yet, there he is.

Baekhyun eats a madeleine and nods his head as he picks up another. Deliberately, he walks around the table so that Kyungsoo is between him and the dessert table. “Don’t sound so surprised. I _was_ invited, you know? It’s not really my scene, but I think I like it. Although, the dessert table is doing some heavy lifting on that assessment.”

“I thought it would be because all of these people are paying a lot of attention to your telescope,” Kyungsoo says as he gestures to the large picture, the focal point of the exhibit. A small group of girls are animatedly talking beside it.

Baekhyun sags and sighs dramatically, almost like a cartoon character. “I’ve been promoting Astronomy night all wrong. All I actually needed was Instagram and a couple of filters.”

“I think there is more to it than that,” Kyungsoo says, but pauses. “At least that’s what Sehun says.”

Baekhyun laughs. It’s softer than his laugh when they were on the roof. Kyungsoo misses how he shook with his whole body, now only his chest rumbling. The taller boy points to the dessert next to the table. “Hey, are these things any good?”

“The profiteroles?” Kyungsoo asks. “Yeah, but the dough has too much butter in it so it’s raw on the inside and somewhat nicely burnt on the outside.”

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, “Descriptive.” He pops one in his mouth and then points to the program book in Kyungsoo’s hand. “Hey, can I look at that? The guy didn’t want to give me one.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t mull over those words too much. Also, Baekhyun was talking with his mouth full and Kyungsoo couldn’t even make out what he was saying. He hands over the book. “Your picture is on page seven.”

“Is it?” Baekhyun quickly turns the pages and has to go back when he skips it. There is a small print of each picture and a small description beside it. The blonde’s shoulders tense and he looks physically disgusted. “Ugh, at least he advertises Astronomy night. Your friend wrote this right? Ugh, was he not paying attention to anything? _All_ Dobsonian telescopes are Newtonian!  You see, the Dobsonian is just the name of the mounting piece, not the actual placement of the optics on the inside. The optic positioning is what makes it a Newtonian. Tell your friend to do more research, okay? He mentions Cassegrain, but only the big telescope at Astronomy night is a Cassegrain. Dobsonian mounts can’t be used for Cassegrain because of the way the lens are -“

Baekhyun stops, eyes widening a bit. “Am I boring you? I didn’t mean to lecture you.”

It takes Kyungsoo a moment to respond, but he does so truthfully. “No, you make it interesting.”

And he does. The other speaks with such excitement when he talks about his telescopes. Kyungsoo is sucked back to Astrology night when Baekhyun was talking to the group of people. It’s captivating. Kyungsoo feels himself going into a trance like state when he talks, a type of serene he wakes up to at the end. He has a smile on his face, even when he was just in the middle of his rant. His hands move all over the place as he explains things, like they are trying to keep up with his voice and they speed up as he talks faster and have larger movements when he talks slower.

Kyungsoo doesn’t think there is a single thing that he could talk about with such passion.

“If you say so,” Baekhyun says, voice wavering. Instead of continuing, he flips through the program. Two pages go by and his eyes go a bit wider. He looks at Kyungsoo accusingly and holds up the program. “I thought you told me that you weren’t a model! You lied to me.”

Kyungsoo refuses to look at the picture. Cheeks warming, he tries to explain, “I’m not. He didn’t tell me that he took it.”

“He’s got a really good camera,” Baekhyun says, turning around a bit to look at the exhibit. Kyungsoo calms his nerves with another profiterole. Then, he feels a hand on his upper arm. “Hey! There you are! Let’s get a better look.”

Baekhyun is strong, way stronger than a science major should be. The next thing Kyungsoo knows his cheeks are on fire and he is being plopped on down right in front of the awful sight. The blonde concentrates on it, a hand on his hip. “You know, it’s such a great use of light.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo manages to get out.

“Hey Kyungsoo!” Kyungsoo knows that voice wants to find a corner to hide into. Chanyeol appears on the other side of the exhibit, voice booming for everyone to hear and look straight at Kyungsoo.

The giant’s long legs get him across the room quickly as he appears at Kyungsoo’s side. He’s dressed in a suit and the smaller recognizes it as his concert clothes. Did he steal it from the choir room? Chanyeol seems to notice the picture of him and Kyungsoo braces himself.

“Wow, I can’t believe you finally let Sehun photograph you. He’s been asking forever!” He studies it a bit more squinting his eyes. Kyungsoo can plainly see that he is wearing his glasses, why is he squinting? “Where is this? I don’t recognize it?”

“It’s on the top of the physics building,” Kyungsoo answers. He looks down at his watch to avoid whatever looks Chanyeol is giving him. It’s getting late. He’s running out of time to study tonight.

Chanyeol’s eyebrows crease as he looks at Kyungsoo oddly. “What were you and Sehun doing there?”

“It’s Astronomy night!” Baekhyun answers him. Kyungsoo forgot for a second that he was there in his embarrassment, he might actually die now.

The tall man looks offended. “Why wasn’t I invited? I need to go to more intellectually stimulating events, Kyungsoo. I am constantly surrounded by dumb trumpet players and I need an out!”

Kyungsoo sighs at this stupidity. “You were too busy stuffing you face full of those disgusting wings. And since when were you smart? How many times have you been so full of yourself that you delude yourself into believing that you will win your eating contest against Jongin? Oh right, all of them! Smart people actually think about consequences like that.”

His small tirade does nothing to deter Chanyeol, but it does get a snicker from Baekhyun. Chanyeol sticks out his chest, defensively, looking ridiculous in his barely fitted suit. “I _am_ smart and I do a lot of intellectual things! I’m here at this art show, aren’t I? And I went to Jongin’s ballet. I am totally a fit at wierdo space night.  They’re just amateurs, I probably could have taught you a few things if I was invited.”

“Excuse me,” Baekhyun pipes up, “’wierdo space night’? I can assure you that ‘wierdo space night’ is a great event full of knowledgeable people who are dedicated in studying astronomy. We might be amateurs, but at least we study extensively to broaden our knowledge.”

“Who is this guy?” Chanyeol asks Kyungsoo, condescendingly. He doesn’t give Kyungsoo any time to answer as he turns to Baekhyun. “I’m sure that I could impress everyone there.”

“Oh, really? Baekhyun asks, a bit teasingly. He slouches a bit, hand on his hip, confidence oozing. “Well then, answer this question: How does a telescope work?”

The taller leans back, running his hand through his hair as he thinks. He smirks when he comes up with an answer. “Darkness...obviously”

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun look at each other, unimpressed.

“Stellar answer,” Kyungsoo says dryly.

Baekhyun smirks. “Light goes in and mirror and lens distort the light into something more advantageous for our eyes to perceive. It’s alright. I am sure that you can blow everyone else away at Astronomy night another way with that big mouth of yours.”

Chanyeol’s cheeks visibly warm. “I would not!”

“Are you sure?” Jongin asks, appearing from behind Chanyeol. His fake smile turning to a real one at the look on Chanyeol’s taste.

“Of course, I am!”

Jongin turns to Kyungsoo. “Did I miss anything else other than Chanyeol’s cheek being bright red?”

Chanyeol recovers and huffs. “My cheeks aren’t red!”

Kyungsoo and Jongin ignore this. “It’s another of Sehun’s art shows. Nothing ever really happens,” Kyungsoo says, truthfully.

“With you featured!” Chanyeol pipes up. Kyungsoo hits his shoulder.

Jongin ignores this and extends a hand out to Baekhyun. “Sorry for whatever Chanyeol did to get such a wonderful burn from you. I’m Jongin. I’m friends with Kyungsoo and Chanyeol”

Baekhyun takes the hand with a smile. “I’m Baekhyun. I met Sehun and Kyungsoo at Astronomy night. I came out today thinking I could promote it, seeing as I am the president of the Astronomy club and all.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol’s face falls a bit.

“That’s cool,” Jongin says. “It’s good you came. We always need more people to knock Chanyeol down a peg. Kyungsoo does too much of the heavy lifting around here.”

“Hey!” Chanyeol squawks.

Kyungsoo notices that Jongin’s eye bags have grown just a bit deeper. “Did your teacher leave?”

“Yes, finally,” Jongin sighs. “She kept telling me that I need to do well in the coming practices with the show coming up. Haewon is lagging behind and my teacher wants me to teach her, but she’s hopeless!” Jongin shakes his head a bit. “And I also thinks she kind of likes me and I really don’t want to get involved with that.”

“What are you practicing?” Baekhyun asks.

“Ballet,” Jongin answers. “I’m a dance major. The dance department is putting on a rendition of Romeo and Juliet.”

“Oh, really? Why ballet?”

Kyungsoo watches as Baekhyun’s eyes go a bit wider and Jongin’s expression brightens up. Jongin loves talking about dance, especially to new people wo don’t always know all that much about it. He always gets really into it. It reminds Kyungsoo of when Baekhyun talked about his telescopes or Sehun fiddling with his camera or Chanyeol messing around on his music software.

Baekhyun seems interested as he hears Jongin talk. Kyungsoo has heard everything that Jongin has to say about his background, but Baekhyun’s he has not heard. At some point, he mentions that he is a physics major. Chanyeol at this point feels the need to apologize and says that he is just a simple music major who took physics in high school. Baekhyun also brings up his acapella days and Chanyeol perks up a bit at that. The two talking like they have been friends for years.

The three of them talk at a dizzyingly rate. Their eyes can barely contain their excitement as they just talk even faster. A feel of elation can almost be felt between them and Kyungsoo feels like he is getting a contact high.

He doesn’t contribute. Unsure what he brings to the table in terms of interesting things he does. He looks at this phone and the late time starts to make his chest beat a bit faster. He has a quiz tomorrow. Kyungsoo has studied for it for days, but there is never harm in doing more.

The show closes thirty minutes later. Sehun joins the conversation then, meeting Baekhyun and complaining about this art teachers. Kyungsoo itches to leave, but he doesn’t want to be rude. Jongin is the one who breaks up the conversation citing his eight am class the next morning.  Before they leave, Chanyeol invites Baekhyun to weekly dinner right before they part ways.

There is an air of disappointment as they disperse, the low after the high.

Kyungsoo gets back to his dorm about half an hour before midnight. Immediately, he goes to open his textbook. Just looking at the pages makes his heart calm down. He stares at the book until his eyes go bloodshot and he falls asleep at some point in the early hours of the morning.


	3. III

**III**

Baekhyun slips into the group seamlessly. He first shows up to Friday dinners and then he starts to appear at Kyungsoo’s friends shows and events. Baekhyun is there next to Kyungsoo when he watches Jongin become Tybalt, when Chanyeol plays a piano solo, and at another of Sehun’s exhibits. He’s front and center at Astronomy night with his huge telescopes and large smile on his face.

Most surprisingly, he’s also there every other weekday night at the desk across from Kyungsoo at the library. Baekhyun didn’t ask to sit next to him, just showed up and plopped on down. Kyungsoo wanted to protest. His thoughts already gave him enough distractions. Yet, Baekhyun is more studios than Kyungsoo could ever imagined.

He always wheels one of the white boards from across the room and places it right next to him. Kyungsoo will look back down at his book for a minute and look up t see the entire board filled with equations. Baekhyun’s notebooks are frantically filled out as he tries to figure out homework questions or studies. Colorful highlighters, stickers, and gel pens litter his desk.

Just like Kyungsoo, the blonde is there for hours, quietly worrying over classes and grades. Yet when he gets lonely, he manages to talk Kyungsoo into getting another Starbucks or vending machine snack, blabbing about his work the whole way. When it gets too late into the night, they venture to the shitty vending machine coffee maker, faces frowning at the taste.

Kyungsoo thought he would get annoyed at all the sounds that Baekhyun makes. The clicking of pencils needing new lead, books being flipped through, and squeaky dry erase markers. But, Kyungsoo finds them calming in a way. At least one of them is absorbing the information that they are studying. One of them is making progress.

Baekhyun gets good grades. He must to qualify for a good graduate program. Not only does he get good grades, he’s also a year ahead of Kyungsoo in school and is up to his chin in major classes. He says his senior project is overwhelming him. Yet, he makes incredible progress each night he is there in the library. Finishes homework and studies through notes, revising what he can. Kyungsoo is lucky to get through one chapter a night.

It all makes Kyungsoo a bit envious, although he never voices this. Never voices that he is struggling. Just watches Baekhyun as he whispers to himself about his work, sometimes getting so worked up he argues with himself, hands flying everywhere. Kyungsoo finds it amusing.

The semester ends in a month which means two things are coming: finals and winter. Finals are in three weeks and the students are becoming frantic. Bags start to appear under Kyungsoo’s eyes. It is later in the afternoon and Kyungsoo is hidden away in the corner of the third floor of the library.

He’s staring at his book, a bit stressed out. Sometimes he can almost hear the book mocking him. He’ll never be able to understand this book. Never in his life. Sometimes he thinks this is all pointless, then he remember that if he just tries harder than it’ll be fine.

He gets a text and he looks at it immediately, anything to distract himself.

**Chanyeol**

chicken and drinks at my place

dont say your studying

I’m studying.

 Its friday night and weekly dinner

I’m studying.

you said that last week

stop crawling into your cave and come drink with us

we havent seen you in forever

I was at your band’s gig on Monday.

thats different

we need to see you one last time for your funeral to final study land

come on one night of fun

I am having a night of fun. Unfun.

one night soo

 

If he goes tonight, his friends won’t pester him for the rest of the semester. He can’t afford to lose more study time. He needs to try harder.

Stop calling me soo and I’ll go.

yay 😊

be here by eight

 

Kyungsoo leaves the library at seven and starts on the long walk to Chanyeol’s apartment. His backpack feels like it is getting heavier as the semester goes on and his back hurts from lugging it from place to place. He manages to get to Chanyeol’s apartment about twenty minutes early, but Chanyeol won’t mind.

Chanyeol’s apartment can be described as cozy. It is just a small studio apartment with dingy lighting. As a broke college student, it is barely bigger than a dorm room but it was off campus, a bit cheaper, and just enough to be his and only his.

When asked how he can afford it, Chanyeol exclaimed, “just lump it in with the rest of my loans!”

His job as a piano teacher for a few elementary students doesn’t pay enough for rent or any bill for that matter. So, most of the stuff in the apartment is stolen or salvaged from other places on campus. His projector is from his roommate in freshman year who just left it there after moving out. The couch was abandoned on move out day and Kyungsoo had helped Chanyeol claim and clean it. His beanbags were from a dumpster next to Jongin’s freshman dorm.

Beer is on the table when Kyungsoo walks in and he makes sure to put a small amount of money under Chanyeol’s wallet in the kitchen when he isn’t looking. Kyungsoo can also hear the shower running as he walks into the main room.

Chanyeol is flops down on one of his bean bags and reaches for a can of beer. “Jongin is in the shower and Sehun is on the couch.”

Chanyeol lightly pats the couch next to him, Sehun sprawled out and sleeping. Not having much of a choice, Kyungsoo ists on the other bean bag. “Great party. Everything I was promised and more.”

Chanyeol leans over to smack his shoulder lightly. “Just wait until the food is here,” Chanyeol says as he hands Kyungsoo one of the beers from the table, long arms able to reach it. “I only have beer right now and it kind of sucks and I kind of hate it.”

“Riveting,” Kyungsoo says dryly, taking a small sip of the bear. The sting of water down alcohol hits his tongue and he has to stop his face from scrunching up. “What dumpster did you get this from?”

“The bar I did my last gig at gave me a whole crate for free. Who am I to turn down a whole crate of free alcohol?”

The smaller tries to take another sip and fails. “You should have turned it down.”

“I had an old choir teacher say that shitty alcohol is the best throat tamer before a show,” Chanyeol says as he takes another sip and grimaces. “Drank a whole one of these before my last gig.”

Kyungsoo can’t even imagine how he did that. “Is that the teacher who told you how he did coke off a clarinet?”

Chanyeol looks up to the dirty ceiling as he thinks. “Yeah, I think it was.”

The door opens with a bang as it rebounds off the opposite wall. Baekhyun’s voice rings out, “I brought the good stuff!”

Baekhyun struts into the living room as if he owns the place. He sets down a couple of beers on the table and large bottle of a shitty vodka. Approving, Kyungsoo reaches for one of the bottles of beer. “You came in time, Chanyeol’s been poisoning me.”

Chanyeol puts a hand over his heart before he laughs. “This beer is from the bottom of my heart. You wound my kind ways!”

Baekhyun sits on the ground in front of the sofa, leaning back a bit. He snorts as he picks up Kyungsoo’s neglected can and takes a sip. “Oh, fuck!” He grimaces as he swallows the liquid. “More like the bottom of your pocket. You pay anything for this shit?”

Chanyeol smiles. “Nope!”

Baekhyun hums as he admires the can. “You know, this stuff might have just gotten a bit more palatable.”

Leaning back, Baekhyun pats Sehun’s head, but the guy doesn’t even budge. As Baekhyun tries to get a response out of the younger boy, Jongin walks out of the bathroom. He only has his jeans on and a towel covering his torso as he goes towards Chanyeol’s kitchen to rummage through his bag.

“Is the food here?” He asks lazily.

“No,” Chanyeol responds, pulling out his phone. Kyungsoo realizes him and Chanyeol have seen Jongin shirtless several times and don’t pay that much attention to it anymore. Jongin might be built like an Instagram model, but he’s too shy when it is brought up. Baekhyun, on the other hand, has clearly not. His mouth parts for a second as he stares. Kyungsoo stares at the blonde who seems to have had his brain short circuited and is trying to reboot. Jongin is still just trying to find his shirt.

Finding it, he pulls it out and puts it on. He comes around the couch and rolls his eyes when he sees Sehun. He sits on Sehun’s legs and the other grunts as he pulls his legs up so that Jongin can sit on the couch. It is silent for a second before Jongin realizes that Baekhyun is staring at him.

Baekhyun, at this point, finally finds his voice. “Oh.”

“What?” Jongin asks. “Did you want the couch? Sehun just pretends to sleep he’s pretty compliant if you force him to be.”

Baekhyun shakes his head.

“Than what is it?” He looks to Kyungsoo for some help. Kyungsoo knows that the younger will never actually figure it out so he points to his chest. Jongin immediately looks embarrassed. “Oh! I, uh, dance.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, a bit breathy. “I got that.”

“You didn’t react like this when I changed after my piano recital last month,” Chanyeol says accusingly.

Baekhyun laughs, recovering back to his normal self. “You don’t dance.”

“Or do any physical activity whatsoever,” Kyungsoo pipes up.

Chanyeol sighs. “Do you know how heavy a cello is? All I do is drag that thing up and down stairs.”

Sehun groans from the couch, sitting up a bit, slowly getting ready to join the party. “You don’t get abs from playing the cello.”

He yawns dramatically before grabbing one of Chanyeol’s beers. He still looks like he is going to pass out any second.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I was in the dark room for hours and I almost fell asleep in one of the tubs.” Sehun admits, taking a nice sip of beer and immediately regretting it. “What is this shit?”

“What you are going to shot gun when you lose at King’s Cup!” Chanyeol exclaims as he starts to clear the table pulling a deck of cards from the nearby shelf. “Gather round! Time to get this party started. All of you are going down!”

Chanyeol’s beer is watered down and even after two beers, Kyungsoo doesn’t feel anything. Chanyeol has had four and he slurs out that he barely feels a thing. The chicken arrives and the game is abandoned to feed their empty stomachs. It’s fast food fried chicken that is delivered to your door, so Kyungsoo doesn’t expect much. It’s not that appealing, the grease suffocating him, but the stomach thanking him. He doesn’t each much but savors the skin. Even if it is highly processed and drenched in grease, it’s still good.

Chanyeol challenges Jongin to see who can eat a leg faster and Baekhyun sits on the sideline, prodding them on. Sehun quickly scoots away from his spot between the two to get out of “the splash zone”. At the disgusting site of two men going face first into a chicken leg, Kyungsoo pulls out his hand sanitizer and makes sure to use more than usual. Baekhyun immediately abandons his cheers and takes the hand sanitizer as he looks with horror upon the two barbarians. Jongin finishes by a hair and Chanyeol has to one shot one of the shitty beers as a loser. The rest of the chicken is quickly demolished by the group.

Afterwards they drink and talk, playing a regular card game to give them something to do with their hands. Baekhyun asked about Jongin’s practice and this apparently opened the floodgates.

“Then the guy wouldn’t stop talking for like an hour. All about how the passion should be coursing through our bodies and veins. All about how our pain is good because pain means that its good art and we are artist because of the pain and all this bullshit. That we should be overextending every move even during practice. This guy is our teacher and is saying this stuff. I’m pretty sure our pain is from three hours of barre we just had. My partner just soaked it up like a sponge and she has just become obsessed with it. She keeps spouting it to me during warm down and now during warm up.”

Chanyeol puts his drink on the table in front of him, a bit too forcefully. “I get what he is talking about. It’s like your calling. Everything gets all hay and you’re so focused on stuff and you like shake.”

Sehun rolls his eyes, easily the soberest person in the room, except for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo reaches out to take Chanyeol’s can away from him. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

“No, I get it,” Baekhyun says. “It’s like… I’m in my element. Everything else goes away and everything feels smooth.”

Jongin sighs, sitting back against his chair. “I get that part, but you two don’t deal with physical pain. Just because I love something doesn’t mean I have to love everything about it, not questions ask. First, ignoring your body is a sure way that you injure yourself. Second, I hate doing hours of barre warm-ups, but I know I have to do it or I won’t get to be able to do the shit that I actually like.”

“Oh, I get it, like long math shit,” Baekhyun exclaims, raising his drink up. “A drink to computer that do integrals for you!”

The group takes a sip, even though Kyungsoo thinks that half of the room doesn’t even know what an integral is. Chanyeol quickly reaches out to grab his taken drink and take a big gulp. Afterwards, he looks perplexed. “I don’t get it. I love everything about music. I can’t think of a single thing I hate.”

“Maybe you’re just a wierdo,” Sehun says, tapping away at his phone and forgetting that it was his turn to draw cards.

Chanyeol waves him off. “I think that I’m just passionate.”

His smile is huge and his chest is puffed out. Kyungsoo cannot keep the disgusted look off his face. “Please calm down.”

“I can’t, it is just bursting to get out!” Chanyeol turns his attention back to Sehun. “What don’t you like?”

“Being in the dark room,” Sehun groans. “It takes forever, I can’t see for shit, and I keep running into things and hurting myself.”

Baekhyun and Jongin laugh. Chanyeol leans back, arms over his chest defensively. “If all of you don’t like doing it that much, why are you doing it?”

“I can’t imagine not doing it,” Baekhyun responds, taking another drink. He’s been drinking his own stuff, so the good stuff, and might be a little more drunk than the rest of then. Except for Chanyeol, but Chanyeol is lightweight. Baekhyun is too, but Chanyeol is _more_ of a lightweight.

“Me neither,” Jongin agrees. “But if basic warmup went and away and I could still do ballet than I would be a lot happier.”

Kyungsoo listens to his friends, but he has nothing to contribute. Instead eh watches as Chanyeol rolls his head back and closes his eyes in frustration.

The next half hour has Baekhyun shot gunning his beer with Sehun. Sehun and Jongin taking an uber back to their apartment. They offer to take Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, but they both live too close and can’t seem to justify the cost. Kyungsoo packs his stuff and corrals Baekhyun into packing his. Chanyeol has fallen asleep on his couch and Kyungsoo wakes him up to get him to his bed which is literally only a couple feet away. Kyungsoo locks the apartment door behind him and remembers this is the reason he had been given one in the first place.

Baekhyun takes the stairs down from Chanyeol’s apartment and it becomes clear to Kyungsoo that Baekhyun is now feeling the effects of that last shotgun beer. He wobbles a bit and is going slower than usual.

Baekhyun shouldn’t be left alone to walk to his apartment. What is worse is that he lives on the third floor of his building that has no elevator access. Being friends with Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongin has taught Kyungsoo that is there are stair involved, he is dragging his drunk friend up them at some point. He makes an executive decision.

“I think you should stay at my place,” Kyungsoo says once they are out of the stairwell.

Baekhyun jumps onto the small ledge next to him an almost trips. “Its just a short walk.”

“Upstairs,” Kyungsoo stresses. “I’ve dragged Chanyeol up a pair of stairs before. I won’t do it for anyone ever again.”

Baekhyun laughs, unrestrained. “I’m lighter than him. I’m sure that it will be easier with me.”

He jumps down and swings himself around a crosswalk sign. “You can carry me on your back and I’ll bee a rocket and you’ll be groot, but in like his pre-teen grumpy emo form.”

Kyungsoo worries a for a second that Baekhyun took something else. Being drunk makes you say stupid shit, but this was exceedingly silly.

Baekhyun stops and wobbles towards Kyungsoo, dizzy from his fun. Kyungsoo goes to quickly steady him before he becomes too lightheaded and throws up. Baekhyun grabs onto Kyungsoo’s shoulder like a lifeline. “It’s alright to be a grumpy emo. We all had that phase.”

Kyungsoo shoves off Baekhyun’s hand, still holding his arm. “Please, never drink again for everyone’s benefit.”

Baekhyun smiles and pats his shoulder. “It would be cool, though. You could grow really tall and then we would be up there. We wouldn’t last long because your legs would snap because they would become brittle without oxygen.”

Kyungsoo is motionless, baffling out a response. “What are you _on_? Did you hide something in your beer or was it the chicken?”

Baekhyun ignores him. “Doesn’t it sound amazing, Kyungsoo?”

“No,” Kyungsoo says, tugging Baekhyun’s arm towards his pace. The faster that the blonde gets put to bed the better. “I break my legs!”

Baekhyun plants his feet in the ground, stopping both of them. He throws his arm around Kyungsoo’s neck and forces him to look up as Baekhyun points with his other hand. “Look at them, Soo! There’s so many out there and we don’t know so much about them! What are they made of? What is there atmosphere? Their features? Their colors? Do they have moons? Do they orbit a sun? Multiple suns?”

Baekhyun turns him around so that they are facing each other. “I’m going to find out. I’m going do that. Watch them, study them, write on them, stalk them. Watch me, Soo! I’ll be the happiest scientist to have ever lived!”

Kyungsoo regains control, getting Baekhyun to cooperate as they walk to his apartment. It is a short walk and they make it to the elevator. Baekhyun entertains himself by singing commercial jingles for places Kyungsoo despises. He shushes the blonde as they enter the dark living room, roommates asleep or still out partying. Kyungsoo doesn’t know anything about their schedules. Or them.

He grabs the emergency blankets and has Baekhyun lie on them and gives him a glass of water to gulp down. He is about to take the glass, but Baekhyun keeps babbling. “Did you know that I think that the sun has a pair of sunglasses on it?”

“No.”

“Well I do and I’m going to prove it true. It’s my dream.” Kyungsoo takes the empty water glass and Baekhyun curls up and closes his eyes. “Don’t you have anything like that?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t sleep.

Baekhyun is fast asleep on his couch outside his room and Kyungsoo doesn’t sleep.

He lays in bed and stares at his ceiling. His mind goes a mile a minute. Baekhyun’s drunken speech circulating through his brain tirelessly.

When Baekhyun goes to grad school and goes into his field of study, what will Kyungsoo be doing? Sitting in a cube farm crunching numbers with equations he can’t remember for more than twenty seconds? Drowning in excel workbooks? Staring at numbers until his eyesight lulls? Stressing to impress a boss who will probably run him dry? Feel like he does every single second that he studies? Waiting until the end of the day to do nothing?

When Baekhyun is doing everything that he loves, what will Kyungsoo be doing? Becoming numb to the hate that he feels for every second of his life? Asking what whether he could have done something else, _anything_ else?

Kyungsoo doesn’t sleep, but he does get out of bed, early, as the birds sing outside. It’s barely dawn and the birds sing to the their hearts content. When was the last time Kyungsoo did anything to his hearts content? Quietly, he walks out to the living room. None of his roommates are there, not an uncommon thing for an early Saturday morning. It is likely that they probably didn’t come back from wherever they were.

He tries to get his textbook out for a couple of minutes, trying to reaffirm why he is doing this. He can’t come up with an answer, but it comforts him that he is trying to achieve something. It only takes a couple of minutes to realize how fruitless it all is.

Baekhyun is still on the couch, spread out and tucked in under three blankets. The beginning of December brings a crisp chill to the air. The blonde is out like a light, so Kyungsoo starts to make breakfast.

Kyungsoo goes to grab the eggs, but something stops him. Baekhyun is probably hung over, so he’ll probably want something more substantial than an omelet. Something with more carbs. Also, the blonde did say that he had a sweet tooth.

He turns on the stovetop and puts down his saucepan on the hot burner. He grabs the milk and starts to pour a bit in. Quickly the milk warms so that it is still able to be touched by a human hand but not burn it. Meanwhile he puts the butter on the counter beside him. Out of the saucepan it goes into a mixing bowl. Sugar, cardamom, and flour is also added. The small amount of time has let the butter become softer and he folds it into the mixture with a wooden spoon. He covers the bowl and lets it sit. He then starts preheating the oven.

The next part is to wait. Less than a minute passes before Kyungsoo feels restlessness sinking into his bones. He goes to his room, picking up his textbook, calming himself down as he tries to read a couple pages.

As soon as a half an hour passes, he takes out some butter and sugar and beats them together with a bit of cinnamon. He puts that away and spreads some flour onto his kitchen surface. Taking the dough from before, he kneads the mixture. In and out, softly, until it is firm. He spreads it out into a rectangle and spreads his cinnamon mixture evenly across half the dough. The other half is folded on top of the cinnamon layer. He cuts it all into strips then twists it before taking the twist and making it into a circle. He gets a baking sheet and sets all his creations apart.

Popping the tray into the pre-heated oven, he then starts on the glaze. He combines sugar and butter together. Then he takes an orange from his fridge and zests it before all adding its juice. He whips it up together and heats it on the stove at a low temperature until it is thick. He reads his books as he lets the glaze thicken. After a couple of minutes, his phone timers goes off and he removes the twists from the tray.

He hears the groan of a dying animal. Startled, he looks over to Baekhyun who is sitting up, limbs stretched out as he opens his eyes. He stares straight at Kyungsoo. “Where am I?”

“My place,” Kyungsoo answers, carefully transferring the twists to a small cooling rack. Baekhyun flops back down onto the couch.

“What time is it?”

“Nine.”

“Ugh!” Baekhyun groans, back hitting the sofa. “I’ve got only two hours until my group meeting.” There’s a pause. Quickly, he sits up and turns his head over to Kyungsoo. “What is that amazing smell?”

He gets up, wobbling a bit from just waking up. Baekhyun makes it to the table with the baked goods and almost falls into his chair. Kyungsoo makes sure to fill a glass of water and sets it down next to the blonde. Baekhyun gulps down the entire glass graciously. Kyungsoo grabs the glass and goes to fill it again. “There look amazing!”

Kyungsoo frowns as he fills the glass and then gets two plates out of the cabinet. “You haven’t even tried anything.”

“No food smells this good without being godly. _That_ would just be disingenuous.” Kyungsoo puts the glass of water and plates on the table next to the glaze. Baekhyun immediately grabs a place, almost drooling over the sight of the food. He looks around Kyungsoo and straight at the sink which is filled with clean dishes. “Did you make these from scratch? You didn’t tell me you could cook!”

Baekhyun takes a bite and smiles. “So good! You didn’t have to do this. I’m not special enough for things not in a can.”

Kyungsoo scoffs as he carefully spreads some glaze over a twist with a knife. “The canned stuff just doesn’t taste the same. Their cardamom flavoring doesn’t even have cardamom in it, just some “extract”. Making it from scratch allows the flavors to be crisper. And I don’t even know what is in their glaze, but it shouldn’t be called “glaze” and shouldn’t be sold to the populace.”

Baekhyun smirks a bit around his twist. “You don’t just cook, you’re a fucking food _snob_.”

Kyungsoo makes a face as he bites into his twist. “I am not.”

“Sure you’re not,” Baekhyun says as he reaches for another twist. He makes a small noise as he takes another bit. “There really are some of the best things I’ve ever had. They’re so sweet! And this is coming from a guy who once ate half a pound of powered sugar, straight up. Thanks, Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun bobs his head as he eats and Kyungsoo was wrong to think that he might have a hangover. “How are you so perky?”

Baekhyun grabs the glaze and starts putting a copious amount over a twist. “How are you not after eating these things?”

Kyungsoo is disgusted. “You mean you’re icing with a side of kanelsnegle?”

“Yeah, whatever it is that you just said.”

Baekhyun finishes up his third swirl before Kyungsoo offers him his shower. He accepts, taking another swirl into the bathroom with him which makes Kyungsoo pause for a second.

While the blonde is in the shower, Kyungsoo pulls out his napkins and a small jar. Bounding up each roll delicately he is able to stack them in the jar. He also grabs a small glass container and puts the glaze in it as well.

Baekhyun’s hair is fluffier when he gets out of the bathroom. He rubs a towel through it to dry it faster, but it just makes his hair stick out vertically out of his head.

His face beams when Kyungsoo gives him the packaged leftovers.

Kyungsoo drives Baekhyun to his meeting. The whole time, Baekhyun is trying to Instagram his new treats. Two minutes later has Kyungsoo receiving a whiny text from Sehun about it.

When Kyungsoo stops to let Baekhyun out he has at least four different messages waiting for him about how gypped they feel as friends that they don’t get any baked goods. It gives Kyungsoo a headache. He thinks that all of this might have not been worth it.

He drops Baekhyun off who gives him a wave when he steps out of the car. “Hey! Thanks for everything!”

Baekhyun smiles wide and rushes off.

Completely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recipes:  
> https://mydanishkitchen.com/2011/01/03/danish-kanelsnegle-cinnamon-buns/


	4. IV

**IV**

**Baekhyun**

What is everyone doing for break?

**Chanyeol**

Going home

**Sehun**

Me and Jongin’s family is here. So here.

Home

**Baekhyun**

Chan and Soo

When do you leave

 

**Chanyeol**

Late night train on Sunday

Monday

**Baekhyun**

Alright

So

Finals end Thursday

Parties on Friday

Saturday, drive down to lake moraine and camp out

See the stars and eat some smores and come back on Sunday to get Yeol on the train.

Who’s in?

**Chanyeol**

I’m in

**Sehun**

We’re in

**Baekhyun**

Soo?

Soo?

You don’t have anything to do on Saturday

Finals are on Thursday so you can’t be studying for anything either

Fine

**Baekhyun**

Great! I’ll delegate

**Sehun**

Delegate what?

Kyungsoo returns to his books. His phone rumbles, but he tells himself it can wait. Eventually, he picks it up. There’s stuff in the group chat, but Kyungsoo decides to ignore that. Baekhyun has started a group with just him in it.

**Best Chefs in the World**

**Baekhyun**

Kyungsoo.

Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out the food

We need lunch on Saturday to lunch on Sunday

 so four meals with little money because we are all poor as fuck

Are you even doing anything?

**Baekhyun**

Transportation

None of you are touching my scopes

I need to study. I’m not going to have any time to prepare because of finals.

**Baekhyun**

I don’t care about the food as long as theres s’mores

Finals end on Thursday

We can go to the store together on Friday morning

Fine.

**Baekhyun**

Yay! You’ll do great 😊

 

Kyungsoo stares at the message and tries not to be jealous. He has no idea how Baekhyun keeps up with everything that he does.

Finals start in five days and Kyungsoo is barely keeping it together. Baekhyun, on the other hand, is at the library studying, sometimes even longer than Kyungsoo. Yet, he still holds Astronomy night and still goes to all his club meetings. He goes to Chanyeol’s concert, Jongin’s recitals, and Sehun’s shows. Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to do anything but go to the library.

Yesterday, he brought a pillow and a blanket to the library and sought out one of the coveted booths early in the morning. His nose is always moving from book to book and his backpack is close to bursting with notebooks. Colored notecards and gel pens are randomly spread across the table. He has even wheeled over the small whiteboard with him to do the calculations. The whiteboard is what impresses Kyungsoo the most. The large whiteboards are the first to disappear when the student body starts buckling down for finals.

With library space becoming a commodity with finals looming and the desks near the outlets being the first taken up, Kyungsoo works a few floors up, buts till passes him on the way to the vending machine. At three in the morning, the blonde’s glasses are askew and his face is pressed into the pillow.

In the days that follow, Kyungsoo doesn’t sleep. Instead, he grows angrier with each practice problem he doesn’t nail. What type of student is he? How is he going to get good grades if he keeps doing _stupid_ mistakes?

How long has he studied? _How long?_ Shouldn’t he be better than this? Why isn’t he better than this?

Kyungsoo’s last final is early Thursday morning. Nobody finishes the test in the three-hour time limit, except for a one. A girl who got up ten minutes into the test and cried as she lifted her backpack onto her shoulders and ran out the door.

Kyungsoo wished he could follow her.

Instead, he wastes no time and goes back to his test. He can relax and daydream afterwards. When he turns in his test and scratch paper, he expects the tension to leave his shoulders. Instead, he grips his calculator with white knuckles as he packs up his stuff.

 He then walks up one flight of stairs, enters the deserted fourth floor bathroom, and throws up.

Grades will come out Sunday.

His mind focuses on that date as he walks back to his dorm, throws his backpack on the ground when he gets to his room, and lies on the bed. It’s dark when he wakes up. His phone bright. A message from Baekhyun:

**Baekhyun**

Congrats on your last final!

Another from Chanyeol:

**Chanyeol**

You did great!

The most recent from Baekhyun:

**Baekhyun**

ill be there at noon to go grocery shopping

#mealprep #mealprepcourage #ilovemealprep

#mealprep love #mplf #campingmp

#mplove

 

Kyungsoo feels like throwing up again, but he gets up anyways. He whips up a quick broccoli and cheese soup and sits in front of his computer. He plays a video as he finishes his bowl and looks at the screen. Within a couple of minutes his fingers are twitching. He looks to his backpack, only to realize that there is nothing for him to study. All he can do is wait for Sunday. And so, he sits in silence. His fingers tap and his leg shakes. Nothing in his mind.

He looks at his phone. Baekhyun’s message stares at him. It occurs to hi that leaving all the decision making up to Baekhyun about anything related to food might be a disaster. They can’t eat sweets for every meal. So, with a few clicks, he gets to searching.

Baekhyun knocks on Kyungsoo’s door at noon, sharp. When Kyungsoo opens the door, he quickly ushers the other in and turns his body away from the blonde. Jealousy pricks underneath his skin. How could someone who studied so long still look so put together and chipper?

Baekhyun walks in and lounges on Kyungsoo’s sofa. His eyes are wide as he turns his head to Kyungsoo, holding a notepad above his head. “Hey, so I brought some ideas for us to get started! I didn’t bother planning breakfast because I _need_ those cinnamon roll things again.”

Surprised, Kyungsoo pushes down all negative feelings and walks over to take the notebook. A part of him thought that the other was just going to wing it. Before looking over the notes, he picks up his research results and hands them to Baekhyun. “I did, too.”

Baekhyun sits up when he gets the papers and starts to read the compilation of notes. It’s a bit dramatic with his posture and expression, but it amuses Kyungsoo. The list on Baekhyun’s notepad is short: s’mores, unpronounceable cinnamon buns, cake, galaxy cookies, and alcohol.

“How healthy,” Kyungsoo mutters under his breath. There is a picture for the galaxy cookies from Pinterest and they look very beautiful. They’re just normal cookies decorated to be a night sky with some stars on it.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says he looks up from his reading material in disbelief, “when did you figure all of this out?” This looks amazing!” He holds out one of the pieces of paper. “You even got a shopping list!”

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Kyungsoo shrugs off. He didn’t sleep at all. Every time he tried his mind immediately went to Sunday. So, he searched the internet instead.

“This blows my list out of the water!” Baekhyun exclaims. “And I… I can’t cook this, Soo! I eat too many frozen pizzas because I can’t cook. My roommate threated to kill me because I used too much of the freezer space.”

“It’s fine. I’ve cooked them before.”

The blonde stares at him. “But… this is just so fancy! How do you know how to do this? Isn’t this a bit too much for one night?”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Chanyeol and Jongin are dumpsters.”

“Chan never shuts up about it. He keeps bragging about how he ate fifty wings once at this place that I wasn’t even with him at!”

“It was worst to witness.”

Baekhyun smiles at he holds up the papers. “I say we do your grocery plan, but we also have to do these constellation cookies I found!” He grabs Kyungsoo’s arm and tugs. “Let’s go!”

Kyungsoo regrets bringing Baekhyun to the grocery store. The blonde acts like a small child as they go through the aisles. Picking up every glowing, shiny, colorful box and shoving it into Kyungsoo’s line of sight. They’re college kids, who has this type of money? After being discouraged for ten minutes, Baekhyun starts to sing famous commercial jingles and then stops to sing along with the store’s music. At every sample stand, his eyes go big and he rushes over. Always remembering to pick one up for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo sticks to the list, putting everything else back, but lets Baekhyun get whatever he wants when they reach the baking decorations. Baekhyun’s eyes shine and he laughs as he tries to decide between space and fish sprinkles and picks both. The basket is brimming with edible glitter, small sugar pearls, and shitty icing. With how excited Baekhyun is, Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to put any of it back. Except the shitty icing. Homemade icing is easy to make and tastes much better than store bought plastic.

“Half a cup of mint,” Baekhyun reads off the list. Not finding it among the fresh and bottled spices in the basked, he turns to Kyungsoo. “Does it mean fresh or dried?”

“Fresh.”

“How do you know that? Did someone teach you?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “No one.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun says as he looks around the vicinity. “Where can we find that?”

“I already have some at home.”

Baekhyun laughs. “Do you always just keep some mint on you?”

“I get it from the farmer’s market,” Kyungsoo says, nonchalantly. He pushes the cart forward looking for pineapple.

The blonde, momentarily stunned, has to jog a few steps to catch back up. “You go to the farmer’s market?”

“Every week,” Kyungsoo says nonchalantly, inspecting one of the pineapples. It’s just something he does. So routine at this point that it isn’t even notable.

Baekhyun reaches out to ruffle Kyungsoo’s hair, but his hand is knocked away before he can. “And here I thought you were a total shut in.”

Satisfied, the pineapple goes into the cart. “I go to the library, too. You see me there.”

“You go there to study. That’s not really getting out of the house.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes in response.

They bring their haul back to Kyungsoo’s to start cooking. His roommates left when he was cooking dinner the night before, bags big enough to signal that they would be gone until after break. Baekhyun celebrates by letting out a ‘whoo’ before unpacking the pile of goods.

They start off making the cinnamon twists. Baekhyun is right net to Kyungsoo, observing everything he does. He asks questions or comments on everything, a running one-way dialogue.

_It’s so sticky! Do we just let it sit there? You didn’t even measure that out! How am I supposed to follow the instructions when it says add more if needed? How am I supposed to know if it is needed? I thought this was supposed to be scientific? Why are half of these measurements not in metric? Why is this so complicated?_

_Kyungsoo answer me!_

As the dough is set aside to rest, Kyungsoo starts his work on the second dough. It is a bit different just a basic pastry dough with a lot of butter. Baekhyun breathes down his neck as stands on his tiptoes and tries to see over Kyungsoo’s shoulder. The second dough is finished quickly, and he lets it rest and grabs the first one again. He asks Baekhyun to knead the dough lightly. It takes two minutes before he takes it back. “You should chop the vegetables.”

Baekhyun exaggerates a frown and huffs. “I was doing great. _You_ just don’t want to cry when cutting the onion!”

Kyungsoo doesn’t respond and turns on the skillet to prepare the beef. In the background, the blonde hums some sugary upbeat song as he chops. He whines when he gets to the last item. “How am I supposed to cut a pineapple?”

A more advanced technique requires someone who isn’t Baekhyun. Kyungsoo goes to cut the pineapple up as Baekhyun takes out all the containers. He starts spreading out the chicken and vegetables into the four containers. It’s finished with a few scoops of barbeque sauce and a few slices of pineapple.

Kyungsoo cooks up the remaining vegetables and the beef. Rolling out the pastry dough, he cuts them into squares and puts the beef mixture in the middle. He folds the pastry over and uses a fork to seal it up. Then he puts them in the oven. In the meantime, Baekhyun puts the uncooked cinnamon twirls into four other containers.

“Finally, cookie time!” Baekhyun exclaims. “Something I can actually do.”

“You did better than I expected.”

“Did I?” Baekhyun smirks. “Let’s see if I can make better cookies than you.”

“I think you’re at a disadvantage.”

Baekhyun turns towards Kyungsoo, determined. He has already measured out a cup of flour. “I know how to make three things and one of them is cookies. I think you need to prepare yourself. Don’t underestimate me!”

Kyungsoo nods and finds a random cup and starts shoveling flour into a bowl. Baekhyun balks. “You’re not even measuring!”

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo dismisses. The challenge immediately flares something up in him. He goes to his cupboard and pulls out a vanilla bean, not the bottle of extract. He adds a touch of nutmeg, cloves, and honey. The cookies themselves need to be black to act as the backdrop for the constellations, so an obscene amount of black food coloring goes in to get the perfect color. Baekhyun huffs when Kyungsoo is the firs to put his cookies into the oven.

For some reason, Baekhyun has significantly less batter than Kyungsoo. It doesn’t make sense until he sees the blonde with a handful of cookie dough, eating it raw. “It’s the best part of making cookies!”

Kyungsoo makes icing to decorate his cookies, while Baekhyun uses a tube from the grocery store. Kyungsoo feels he is already ahead because he puts his cookies in the fridge to cool down while Baekhyun puts them in the freezer for a couple of minutes and is too excited to wait any longer.

Baekhyun may have years of knowledge about constellations to not need any reference, but Kyungsoo has google. Kyungsoo’s thicker icing is perfect to do such delicate detailed work. Finishing up his Draco cookie, he looks up to find the other staring at him, icing dripping on his cookie, forgotten. It makes the air leave Kyungsoo’s chest, but he recovers quickly.

“You’re ruining Andromeda,” Kyungsoo points out, looking towards the messy decorations and refusing to look up. “You’re losing.”

Baekhyun snaps out of it and tries his best to scrape off the mistake of his cookie. “At least I picked one that we’ll actually be able to see tomorrow. Draco is seen in the summer.”

Kyungsoo is about to start his next cookie when Baekhyun starts to speak up again. “You look really happy.”

 _Does he?_ “Do I?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, leaning against the counter. “You’ve been smiling for the last ten minutes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happy.”

Kyungsoo looks up at him, making his face neutral, but Baekhyun is just staring at his Draco cookie. “I’ve been happy. You’ve seen it.”

“Not like this,” Baekhyun comments, after a minute passes he picks up his icing again and resumes work.

They lapse into silence until all the cookies are decorated. Kyungsoo finishes earlier and packs up the beef hand pies after they cooled to give Baekhyun time. When they are both done with their tasks, they look at each other’s work.

Baekhyun takes Draco and bites into it, frowns, and whines, “why is it so good?”

“Actual vanilla,” Kyungsoo answers, eating Baekhyun’s Orion. Kyungsoo’s work is much leaner, but Baekhyun’s aren’t bad at all. Amateur, but not awful. The taste is a basic recipe, a tried and true classic. The equivalent of a box mix. He doesn’t need to know that. “This is good.”

Baekhyun lights up. “Really? Am I getting your baking stamp of approval.”

“They’re edible, so sure.”

“Yes!”

Baekhyun finishes the day on a good note, leaving soon after. There is nothing for Kyungsoo to clean and he finds himself loss. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to sleep and awaits for the trip tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recipes:  
> https://tipbuzz.com/cinnamon-roll-oranges/  
> https://therecipecritic.com/grilled-hawaiian-barbecue-chicken-foil/  
> https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/beef-hand-pies  
> https://www.flourboxbakery.com/blogs/tidbits/how-to-decorate-galaxy-cookies


	5. V

**V**

Saturday finds all five friends stuffing themselves into B’s van early in the morning. It’s a seven seater, but Gin sits in the far back next to a buckled up telescope supported by five pillows, making it a five seater.

Jongin promptly falls asleep five minutes into the trip. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, graciously accepts the tall thermos of coffee that Sehun brought and tries to force himself to recover from his sleepless night. Jongin looks like he needs it more. There are purple bags under his eyes and he has yet to remove his sunglasses.

He’s still in better shape than Chanyeol in the passenger’s seat, looking halfway between dying and a sick vampire hiding from the sun. When offered the thermos, he only lets out a small groan and shifts ever so lightly. Sehun takes it upon himself to lean forward to get the aux cable. “I’ve got Ariana Grande!”

Kyungsoo almost throws himself out of the car at the campsite.

Hours stuck in between Sehun, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun singing in collection of groans and off pitched singing has made his head hurt. Jongin bounces out happily, patting Kyungsoo on the back as he passes, refreshed after finally waking up from his nap.

Camp doesn’t need much work. They are in a field with no trees a bit of a walk from the lake. The weather is great, despite it being a bit chilly. There is no need for a tent and it makes it more ‘authentic’ according to Chanyeol. They only had a few hours of daylight, so they go to make the most of it. They walk around, open a couple of beers, start a fire, watch the sunset, and coo at the galaxy cookies.

Jongin ghosts his hands over the tray, trying to decide which one to pick. “Did you make these, Baekhyun?”

“I made that one, but Kyungsoo made some, too.”

He picks up Perseus. “Why are some of these deformed?”

“Those are mine!” Baekhyun exclaims defensively.

Sehun has already finished his first one. “I’m going to eat all of them.”

Chanyeol quickly grabs one. “I’m gonna beat you!”

Kyungsoo sighs loudly. “Can we not do this right now?”

Chanyeol looks wounded as he bites his cookie and washes it down with a sip of bear. “Beer chug?” He asks hesitantly, puppy eyes on full blast. Not that it fazes Kyungsoo in the least.

Kyungsoo gives in, “acceptable.”

Chanyeol fist pumps, energy renewed. “Yeah! Gather round time to play Never Have I Ever!”

Kyungsoo regrets coming on this trip.

 It’s been two rounds, he’s the only one that has barely had anything to drink. He’s sitting between Baekhyun who he is learning might be a bit more adventurous than he thought and Jongin who he knows is a bit more adventurous but hasn’t had it confirmed in so much detail than now. Kyungsoo is winning by default.

Jongin leans back, legs stretched out in front of him. He takes a drink, confirming that he has slept with someone he met through a group project. “All dancers are fit, young, and pretty. No one has time outside the studio. It’s almost inevitable. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t slept with another dancer.”

“So, I need to change majors,” Chanyeol says. He’s the most far gone out of all five friends. “Music girls are so stuck up. Still pretty, though. Not like those that Baekhyun has to deal with.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks are red. Either from the alcohol or fire, Kyungsoo can’t tell. He leans forward, a bit defensively. “We still get pretty people in the sciences. Screw you, I am living proof!”

Sehun lets out a small laugh. “If you say so.”

Baekhyun contemplates it for a second. “It’s less drool worthy and much cuter. Girls with glasses who study all the time and wear big sweaters.”

“Someone has an aesthetic,” Sehun comments.

“Hey! They’re cute.”

“Yeah,” Sehun shrugs off. “Sounds like artsy girls who draw.”

“Science girls are less likely to be dating someone,” Baekhyun says. Sehun nods in agreement.

Chanyeol takes a long sip of beer. “So why aren’t you dating one?”

Baekhyun laughs, a bit of beer sloshing on his leg. It’s loud and his whole body shakes. “I start grad school next year. I don’t even want to know how much that is going to kill my personal life.”

“I’ve never seen a happy looking grad student,” Jongin says.

“Me neither,” Baekhyun says, a small smile on his lips. The type of smile that is looking forward to the future. The type of smile plastered on his face all through finals week. Excited that he is just absorbing all this knowledge. Something that Kyungsoo can barely comprehend. “I’ll be the first one.”

The sun is setting when they start to cook the chicken over the fire. Wrapped in foil, they put them on the grate while Chanyeol tries to make fire with sticks like a caveman. He goes for three minutes, aggressively rubbing the sticks together, when Jongin puts his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Chanyeol sulks as the food cooks while Sehun uses the last of the natural light to take some photos. He points the camera towards Kyungsoo who puts his hands up to cover his face. “What did I tell you at the showcase?”

Sehun doesn’t respond, only laughs as he turns the camera away. Kyungsoo’s face is already red from the intensity of the fire as the chicken cooks fully. As soon as they are done, he divvies them out and everyone dives in.

“These are good,” Sehun comments, picking out his pineapple to eat first. Next to him, Jongin is shaking his head in agreement as his face is stuffed.

Chanyeol seemed to be done sulking, cheered up at the sight of food. “I can’t believe that you two made this!”

“This is all Kyungsoo. I barely did anything,” Baekhyun says.

Kyungsoo brushes off the compliment, “you chopped all the vegetables.”

Baekhyun snorts. “Only after you showed me how.”

“Whatever,” Chanyeol pipes up, “I only make microwave pizzas. This is amazing!”

“Is that why you always pick awful places to eat?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Hey!”

They eat the rest of the cookies and roast marshmallows to make s’mores. They stuff their cheeks until they make ridiculous faces. Chanyeol busts out the guitar and downs his drink. Kyungsoo is forced to listen to round two of Karaoke. Chanyeol is fully in his element, singing some sad song with Baekhyun doing backup vocals. Sehun sits in the corner and secretly records them and Jongin’s foot can’t sit still. They look like they have flushed cheeks as they sway back and forth as the fire dies and the night swallows them up.

Baekhyun sets up his telescope while Sehun helps Kyungsoo clean up all the food. As Kyungsoo puts away the foil, Sehun bumps his shoulder.

“I didn’t know you cooked. It was good.” The younger says quietly, eyes not on Kyungsoo and instead on packing up the leftover chocolate.

Kyungsoo can’t help but smile a bit. “Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Confused, Kyungsoo asks, “That I cook? It’s just something everyone does.”

“Not everyone,” Sehun says, “I only eat take out.”

He drops the subject, but Kyungsoo wonders why it’s so noteworthy that both Baekhyun and Sehun commented on it. Cooking is something you do to survive. He wasn’t a chef or anything _that_ notable.

Once the fire dies, the sky lights up with all the stars. Hundreds of small dots are clustered together, twinkling brightly. The sight is so different than when they are in the city. They each look through Baekhyun’s scope while Baekhyun rattles off all the facts that he knows.

“That’s Gemini. And the two bright stars are Pollux and Castor. Castor is the green one and its actually six different stars all in one. The brighter, golden one is Pollux. They’re like named after Romans or something,” Baekhyun babbles.

He keeps talking with the same glow that he gets when he talks during Astronomy night. He’s fueled by Chanyeol’s incessant questions, but doesn’t seem annoyed by them. Kyungsoo lays against his pillow and watches him, entranced by his quick arm movements.

Eventually they all find themselves laying on their sleeping bags, looking up. Everyone is a bit tipsy, but Baekhyun keeps going, lulling them to sleep. He’s almost like an actor on a stage, weaving adventurous stories as his tone rises and falls. Tilts his words until they fit together.

He’s in the middle of talking about Orion when they lose Jongin and Chanyeol. Sehun hangs in to hear about Orion and Artemis before also shutting his eyes, the night late. It’s just Kyungsoo awake and he feels so comfortable in that moment. A quiet calm that is accompanied by contentment.

Baekhyun finishes his story. He tries to take a sip of beer as he is laying down and all Kyungsoo hears is a choking noise as he sits up. He wipes the beer from his mouth and takes a look around at all their sleeping friends.

“This is what I get for talking so long,” He mutters under his breath, “what a bunch of pansies. It’s not even,” he looks at his watch, three in the morning.” He groans, lightly pushing Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “It’s so late! Why didn’t you stop me!”

“You wouldn’t shut your mouth to give me a chance.”

Baekhyun flops down on his sleeping bag next to Kyungsoo. He’s drunk, not as much as Chanyeol’s party, maybe only tipsy. “Ugh! I’m not even that tired.”

Kyungsoo hasn’t been able to sleep well in days. “Maybe its from the six s’more you ate.”

“No regrets, absolutely none!” Baekhyun declares, a smile on his face. He bumps Kyungsoo’s shoulder and Kyungsoo turns to look at him, but Baekhyun stares up into the sky. “Thanks for listening. I just get so excited about this stuff. One of the guys in Astronomy club told me that I might be too passionate for the public, but I wrote him off. What are they going to do? Lock me in the back closet. But.. it’s like…It’s like I can’t wait until five years from now. I’ll be at an observatory and I’ll be making discoveries. My name is going to be in some journal and then I’ll be published and that’s the dream.”

Kyungsoo looks up at the stars. Tries to see what Baekhyun sees in them. “I can hear it in your voice,” he says absentmindedly.

Baekhyun snorts, turning on his side so that he faces Kyungsoo. “But, don’t you feel that? You spend so much time studying stats, but you never talk about it. At all. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t talk about their major unless they are partying or something, but you don’t at all. Not only that, but when you study you look so stressed. Like really _stressed_.”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. “It’s studying not playtime.”

Kyungsoo dares to look over at Baekhyun. He’s frowning, eyes focused on him. Kyungsoo can’t take the staring and quickly turns back to the stars, stomach turning.

“That’s not what I mean,” the blonde says, frustration lacing his words. “You look miserable or angry and I can’t tell which one. It’s like if you can’t even stand to look at your notebook for even one more second. Either you’re going to punch your book or burst out sobbing.”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and wishes he could fall asleep. Wishes it wasn’t so true. More importantly, wishes that Baekhyun wasn’t so observant to know that it was true. “I don’t look like that.”

“Yes, you do!” He’s angry. Why is Baekhyun angry? Why doesn’t he leave it alone? All his other friends don’t press him. “You get that look when it gets to late at weekly dinners and all you can do is look at the time every five seconds. I know you’re not the most expressive, but I can’t read you _at all_. There was a long time where I thought I was bugging you at the library. I just kept looking at you to see if you cared or not and there was nothing, absolutely nothing. You were blank!”

He breathes for a second and then resumes, voice softer. “Then there was that morning after Chan’s party. You made those amazing cinnamon bun things and I almost couldn’t believe it. You were in a good mood and I could easily _tell_ that you were in a good mood. And yesterday…” He stops for a moment, but he starts up again soon after with renewed vigor. “Don’t even get me _started_ on yesterday. You were smiling. Actually smiling! I knew you were good at cooking, but you’re good at cooking. Like restaurant quality, Soo.”

He’s too tired to figure out this conversation. Why is he bringing this up again? Why did Sehun bring this up? “Cooking is just something I do. It’s something that everyone needs to do.”

“Ugh!” Baekhyun lets out an angry throaty sound. “Why did you choose stats?”

Kyungsoo’s going to throw up. “What?”

“Why did you choose stats?”

He hasn’t slept in days. He’s growing frustrated and nothing good is going to come out of them both being frustrated. It’s not like any of his friends are going to understand. “We should go to sleep. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not…,” Baekhyun sighs, “just answer the question.”

“So, I can get a good stable job. I can work at my dad’s job and get a good salary.” And be miserable.

“And be miserable?” Baekhyun asks. Kyungsoo’s eyes open wide.

“It’s a stable career,” Kyungsoo explains, lungs burning for how deep he is breathing. “Not all of us have a passion that’s deep and burning within ourselves.”

Baekhyun runs his hands through his hair. “But wouldn’t you be happier cooking for a living. You’re obviously miserable, so do something else! Maybe if you started learning about it and doing it more it could become your dream. If nothing else, you’re good at it.”

 “So what if I like to cook!” He snaps feeling the frustration in his throat. It’s choking him. “What do you want me to do? Throw out two and half years of work to drop out on an off chance that I’m good?”

“No,” Baekhyun says. “I’m saying that you should look at your options. Do some research, look at some schools. Apply somewhere. Maybe when you get in, you’ll start seeing that its possible.”

“And when I don’t?”

“Tell me ‘I told you so’ and we’ll try and figure something else out.” Baekhyun sighs as he drops down into his sleeping bag, as if all the energy has drained out of him. “You hang out with all of us and we are all so passionate about something, except you. Sometimes I worry that you’re going to be miserable when you graduate and come home from work and you find out you can’t study more to get ahead. Or you spend all your time in an office and you die from stress at thirty. That’s not living Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “You sound like Chanyeol, like it is so _easy_.”

“I know it’s not. You don’t have to make a snap decision. Think about it. Apply, you don’t have to go even if you get accepted. Not everything is as clear as Chanyeol says, but you could still try.” Kyungsoo looks over at Baekhyun and both stare at the other, hoping the other backs down. He’s not going to win. Baekhyun’s eyes, always so full of life, so full of emotion, so full of ambition, so full of knowing too much about Kyungsoo, will not back down. Guilt eats at Kyungsoo’s insides as he is the first to turn away.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”

“Then try.” The words are soft and encouraging, almost warm. Kyungsoo wishes he could hold it between his palms.

Kyungsoo’s vision is blurry as he looks up. There’s no way he can look at the other right now. He feels frustrated and tired and worn down. He feels Baekhyun’s hand grab ahold of him. It’s warm and just the lifeline he needs at that moment. Comforting and strong, Kyungsoo’s grateful for the dark and the alcohol and the tears prickling at his eyes.

It takes a few minutes, but Baekhyun’s soft snores and lack of tension in his hand signal to Kyungsoo that he should follow suit. He closes his eyes, but his thoughts are racing, and he knows that he won’t be able to sleep.


	6. VI

VI

Kyungsoo stares at the passing landscapes as the rest of the car’s occupants start launch into another pop song.

_Apply._

It’s a whisper in his head, soft as a feather, barely there. It’s unmistakably Baekhyun voice. It repeats in his mind, over and over again. He barely registers saying goodbye to his friends. Sees Baekhyun give him a thumbs up as he is left at the train station with his luggage.

It haunts him as he’s on the train. As he walks into his parent’s house. As he watches his grandmother make Manduguk like she does every year. As he hides in a corner, uncomfortable in his suit, as the party his parents dragged him to picks up into full swing. As he stares at his straight A’s on his report card. As he faulters when his father smiles at him.

As soon as the smile disappears, Kyungsoo shuts Baekhyun’s voice out and is determined to do Statistics and not pursue anything to do with cooking. It was a silly notation, an unfeasible option. He’s sunk too much time into a steady major to be persuaded by some guy who knew him for less than half a year.

He receives messages through the group chat and from everyone individually throughout his time at home. He responds by shutting his phone off for good. How would he even begin to explain to Baekhyun that he was all wrong about him.

As he enters his apartment he feels as if he has been pulled underwater. He feels like someone trapped him at the bottom of a pool. A weight is in his chest as he checks his classes for the next semester. He spends a good amount of time staring at them and wishing that they would disappear. No such thing happens.

When he had arrived to mostly spoiled food, he though about going to the store. But, the thought of stepping inside paralyzed him. Instead he ordered take out and tried not to focus on the greasy taste. Somewhere in Baekhyun’s voice, Kyungsoo can hear disappointment and urging. He doesn’t focus on it and powers through his hamburger instead.

His phone is his alarm clock, so he powers it on only to be met with hundreds of messages. One message is from Baekhyun and it starts with ‘Apply’. He deletes Baekhyun’s message. Promptly, he dismisses all messages and turns off all notificatins.

His first week of classes go poorly. Nothing can keep his mind in check. His thoughts are erratic and sometimes blank. When taking notes his hands move like they are treading water. Once and a while, he’ll come back to his senses and look around to see the state of all the other students and realize he is the only one struggling. He can’t tell if it is because he can’t absorb any of the information or if he is daydreaming too much.

This continues for a while, for how long Kyungsoo doesn’t know. He studies and gets take out for all his meals. It doesn’t matter where since as time goes on he finds that the food doesn’t have much flavor, just coats of fat and grease.

It happens on the fifth floor of the library.

It’s two in the morning and he is stuffed into a corner desk. He has a quiz tomorrow (‘today’ his mind reminds him) and it’s his first quiz of the semester. Unlike previous semesters, all of his classes are in his major now that he gotten through gen-ed courses. He always knew this was when everything would kick into high gear, but he wasn’t counting to be in his current state. He can’t name which class he has the quiz in. They all blend together and most of the time he can’t remember which class is which.

It’s much more difficult than before, before Baekhyun had said anything. He may not have been happy with statistics, but it was the only way forward, the safe route, the one he chose. One he was going to do, determined to do. Yet, he couldn’t help but daydream of another possibility, an uncertain one, but a tempting one. A possibility Kyungsoo has tried desperately to push away. He can’t achieve that. It is unrealistic, just a dream.

His tears blur the page of equations and he moves everything, pushes it away so he doesn’t damage any of them. There is something in him that wants them to drown and not be recovered just so he doesn’t have to look at them any longer.

Baekhyun is silent as he sits down across from Kyungsoo. It’s the quiet floor, but it is too early in the semester to be popular enough for many students.

“It’s too early to be crying,” he says, startling Kyungsoo. Baekhyun makes no noise, sitting still, a feat considering that just his presence can demand attention. It takes Kyungsoo a minute, but he can recover, rubbing his tears away. Kyungsoo does not respond to the blond, just tries to clean the mess up with his sleeves.

He doesn’t look up either, can’t look at Baekhyun. If he was any of his other friends he could lie easily and they would take his word, but Baekhyun was different. Baekhyun reads Kyungsoo like an open book and if their eyes meet than Kyungsoo would be too vulnerable. He feels like he will lose if he looks up. He doesn’t know what he will lose, but he will lose.

Baekhyun reaches out to grab his sleeve and gently lowers it to the table. “It’s good to let it out.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t can’t fight him, but he wipes his final tears away with his other sleeve. He’s tired, but Baekhyun shouldn’t see him like this. No one should.

“Why are you crying?” It’s low and breathy and caring and Kyungsoo feels cotton in his throat.

“I’m just studying,” he answers before he can properly think.

Baekhyun is motionless across from him. “No, you’re not.”

He can’t talk to Baekhyun. Can’t tell him that he is going to focus on Statistics and that is his final decision. Baekhyun will tell him that he has given up. There is truth to that, he is unsure how to tell Baekhyun that. None of his friends will understand. All they do is chase their dreams, giving up is not an option. For Kyungsoo, it is the only option.

Baekhyun sighs. “I know you’re avoiding me, us… all of us, but you can talk to us. You don’t have to fall off the face of the planet.”

Baekhyun’s hand is still on Kyungsoo’s sleeve and he gives it a small squeeze of assurance. Yet, Kyungsoo can’t think he could go to any of them. He can’t be like them and he can’t hang around them as they follow their passions. He lived vicariously through them for so long, but just the thought of doing it now makes him sick. Just the thought puts a weight on his chest.

“I’m just studying,” he reiterates.

Baekhyun sits in silence with him for a couple of minutes. Kyungsoo has yet to look up. In one quick motion Baekhyun makes a noise of frustration, shoves his hands through his hair, and leaves.

Kyungsoo feels nothing but disappointment in himself.

The quiz the next day is difficult and Kyungsoo reads through all of it and can’t remember a single answer. His eyes are strained due to lack of sleep and it bothers him. His eyes threaten to close. He can’t do this. He’s going to fail this test and then fail the semester if something doesn’t change soon.

Why is he even in this situation? Why did he pick statistics? Why did he think he could do this?

_He can’t do this._

The quiz has an hour to go and no one has left, yet Kyungsoo stands and exits the room, not even turning his paper in. Just leaves it on his desk as he picks up his backpack and starts up the stairs. Students stare at his audacity. His professor is frowning deeply. He wants to curl up and rot away.

It hits him halfway to his dorm in the hallway of the student center. The wall next to him stapled with fliers and a colorful green one pops out.

**Cook with Mi**

**Come cook with Minji and learn all the tricks needed to bake yourself to impress everyone around you and most importantly yourself.**

**Beginner and Advance Classes available.**

Before he knows it, Kyungsoo has torn a small leaflet off the flier and has bolted to his room.

It may be only the first quiz in one class, but his mind tells him that he has failed the semester. There is nothing that he can do to recover. He should go home and quit school. Be the drop out that he was always meant to be. He doesn’t go to his classes for the rest of the week. His mind would just cut out on him again and he sees no point.

He’ll go to the class on Saturday. It’ll get it out of his system. All this crazy daydreaming. Once he sees the one reality of what cooks do, he’ll chuck the idea from his head. The fog will clear up in his mind and he’ll be back to what he was. Until then, he’ll wait it out and return triumphant on Monday.

On Friday, there is a knock on his door. A quick look through the eyehole finds a head of blonde hair behind the door. Kyungsoo can’t face him. Not now. Maybe one he goes to the class and gets it all out of his system. Then, he’ll feel confident to say that he intends to not apply.

“Kyungsoo, I know you’re in there,” he calls out, knocking more forcefully. He sounds tired, not determined, not his usual self. At least Kyungsoo can relate to this side of him, the burnt-out worn-out side. He doesn’t remember when he hasn’t felt like that.

“Look,” he starts off, strained, “I know I told you to apply somewhere. I know I pushed you and I shouldn’t have. If you want to keep doing stats then keep doing it. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have assumed what you want. I shouldn’t have tried to tell you what the best thing for you to do was.”  He takes a deep breath. “We both know you’re not happy, but at least before you weren’t… _this_.”

There is a brief pause. “Remember when I said you have options. We could talk about them. Even if one of those options is to just keep doing what you did last semester. Maybe we could get you’re a tutor or another hobby or just an outlet of some sorts… I don’t know, Soo. Something needs to change because what you’re doing now…”

Kyungsoo stands motionless at the door, pulled back to the moment that he had stood up during the quiz. Waiting for Baekhyun to continue. He doesn’t move, doesn’t respond. Baekhyun eventually leaves after twenty minutes, but his presence lingers in Kyungsoo’s mind.

Saturday morning rolls around he finds himself twenty minutes from campus in the basement of another college. The door says 2A, but he can’t bring himself to open the door. Something holds him back, the part that want to go to his professor and beg him for help. Baekhyun’s voice reappears, but Kyungsoo squashes it down. Once he proves to himself that this isn’t what he wants, the voice will go away. He opens the door.

“Hello,” an older woman greets. She is sitting on a tall stool with tattoos running down the whole length of her arm. She’s older, looks to be almost the age of Kyungsoo’s mother. Her smile is wide, welcoming. “Pick a seat.”

The room is large with cooking stations in rows accompanied by about a dozen people. Kyungsoo takes a spot alone to the side. The class starts in five minutes and Kyungsoo takes this time to clear the messages on his phone. They pile up quickly. One from Sehun catches his eye ( _we know something is wrong you stopped going to your classes_ ), but he dismisses it quickly. Five minutes pass quickly.

“Let’s start!” The woman exclaims, jumping out of her seat. “Today is Macaron Day!”

The woman immediately launches into the lesson and Kyungsoo must take a deep breath as he observes her. His plan immediately falls apart.

She has the same look in her eye as Jongin as she starts the demonstration. The same determination in her voice as Chanyeol as he whips the egg whites into peaks. It’s Sehun’s small smile as checks her creation. She turns the bowl over the top of her head and the students shout. Nothing falls out of the bowl and she is a fit of giggles, her whole body shakes just like Baekhyun.

When it is the student’s turn to make the macarons, Kyungsoo is glad that he has made them before. He doesn’t remember a single word the woman spoke, but he took away how _happy_ she was to be teaching the class.

He came here to see someone apathetic or bored. Not this, anything but this. Yet, he feels something in his chest. He thinks about his daydreams and sees how close they are to this woman’s profession.

It scares him.

Macarons are a delicate dessert that can be easily messed up, but Kyungsoo is confident that he can do this correctly. The only work that he has been confident in for a long time. It takes some effort, but he makes the Italian meringue without much difficulty. Taps the baking sheet to get the air bubbles out. Makes ganache and pipes it onto the baked goods to finish them off.

He’s done much earlier than his other classmates, not that he had noticed until the end. The woman has been roaming the class giving tips and tricks to the struggling students, but she has yet to come around to him. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind, too absorbed into his own creations to take that much notice. She comes over when he is done and plops one into her mouth. “Delicious!”

Something warms in Kyungsoo’s chest. Kyungsoo quietly thanks her before she is whisked away by another student with burnt macarons.

He waits until everyone is finished and class is dismissed before he approaches her. Her bag is overflowing and Kyungsoo can make out books stuffed in her bag. Before he can gather the courage to speak, she speaks first. “You’ve made them before, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo admits a bit shyly.

“They’re great,” she says, looking right at him. “I saw you cooking. I didn’t teach the techniques you used. They’re not something a beginner does. That’s advanced, more than advanced than my classes. I don’t think I’ll be able to teach you at your skill level.”

“Where did you learn? To cook?” Kyungsoo asks hesitantly.

“Here,” she says, motioning to the room. “I took night classes here for years until I finished my studies.”

Kyungsoo’s mind latches onto her words, “night classes?”

“Yep,” she says, popping the p. “I was good and chemistry but hated it. Worked in chem for years before realizing that cooking was a lot like chemistry. Took night classes for a couple years while I worked during the day. The days were rough, but it worked out.”

He’s amazed. He knew people did this, but it was the first time in his life that he thought about it for himself. “You don’t do this full time?”

She snorts. “I do now! Teach at the school and do fun classes on the side with newbies. Did the chem job until I could do this full time.”

There’s a spark of hope that lights within Kyungsoo. All this time he thought it was an either/or situation. He’d just gone with statistics immediately, not thinking through any of his options. Baekhyun had been right all along. Of course he was! Why hadn’t he listened? The revelation hits him like a ton of brinks and he just stands their awkwardly, evaluating the situation.

She goes through her bag, rustling everything inside before she pulls out a card. She hands it to Kyungsoo. “If you’re ever interested, kid.”

Kyungsoo takes it. It’s a business card with her contact information. Recruitment Evaluator stands out more than anything else. He goes to thank her, but she has already left. He grips the card in his hand, tries not to rip it.

_Apply_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tutorial:  
> Macaron Masterclass - How to Make Perfect Macarons | Cupcake Jemma   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWSOJMcvDec


	7. VII

**VII**

The first thing Kyungsoo does once he gets back to his room is drop his class. The idea occurs to him that with a click of a button all his classes could vanish into thin air, he only does one. His other classes aren’t a lost cause. He’ll be able to explain the class away with some lies to his parents about vague unjust treatment or something like that.

Afterwards, he makes room on his desk for the business card and lays it face up. It takes thirty seconds of the feeling of cotton in his mouth to shove it in a drawer instead.

There is a restlessness inside of him, making his hands twitch. A part of him wants to get back on track with his studies so that what happened at the last quiz doesn’t happen again. Yet, another part of him wants to research some more about what the instructor told him. Research about the school, about a path forward that doesn’t seem as lifeless as the one Kyungsoo is on now. So, he does the latter. He convinces himself it is about studying, just for another purpose.

The more time he spends on it, the urge to do it sky rockets. There is training and schools and jobs, more than he ever knew. By the time he checks the clock it is early morning and for the first time in a while, exciting daydreaming prevents him from falling asleep.

By Monday he has recovered enough from last week to go back to class. He feels a bit lighter with his mind not fogged up. He doesn’t feel good, not even close, but he doesn’t feel like throwing up. It simmers under his throat but it’s manageable. Instead, he must focus on the professor and taking notes instead of losing himself to his thoughts of better places.

He’s still jittery throughout the week. Enough to feel it affecting his studies. Something doesn’t feel right even after he feels better about his classes. He doesn’t cry anymore when studying, which he thinks is a massive improvement, although his retention is still faulty.

One night, he is ready to fall asleep and picks up his phone to do his nightly phone cleanse when it hits him. A twisted feeling of regret, guilt, and other emotions rolled into one. There is also loneliness, which he doesn’t want to linger on. Then, he understands.

Baekhyun had been right about reaching out to them. This whole thing would have been over if he had talked to Baekhyun about options. Maybe it would have been different if he talked to Jongin or Sehun, maybe even Chanyeol. Each one of them had found their passions, they may have had some struggle when they discovered it. They could have helped, yet Kyungsoo didn’t reach out to them.

He shows up to the pizza place at seven on the dot on Friday. He knows that he needs to do this, yet fear still takes over on what he is about to face. Not that he isn’t prepared. The entire afternoon was spent on rehearsing for tonight.

When he goes inside, luckily only Sehun is there to see him. The younger puts down his phone, eyes wide in surprise. By the time Kyungsoo sits down, Sehun’s face is much more neutral, but still cautious.

“I didn’t think you’d show up considering the past few weeks,” he says. It’s a passive aggressive, clearly setting a tone for the rest of the evening.

“I decided to come only a couple of hours ago,” Kyungsoo responds calmly. A lie, he’s been nervous since Wednesday.

Sehun’s expression doesn’t change. “Did you now?”

Kyungsoo is glad that it is only Sehun is here at the moment. He can be honest with Sehun, he’ll understand more than Chanyeol. Jongin might just brush the whole thing off. “I know that I haven’t been around-”

“Around?” Sehun cuts in, “you just stopped talking to any of us with no explanation? Well… not _no_ explanation. _Baekhyun_ apparently knew, but no way was he sharing anything.” He sounds bitter. “What happened, Soo?”

Kyungsoo sighs, as he tries to find the right words, the ones that he has rehearsed, because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to say anything. “The night we went camping, Baekhyun said something to me when everyone else fell asleep,” Kyungsoo tries to explain, vaguely. He’s hesitant with the next part. “It just got to me. I didn’t know what to do and I needed some time to think. No distractions, no people, just me.”

Sehun raised an eyebrow. “What? Did he confess or something? Is that why he’s ben so mopey? Is that why you didn’t talk to us? We could have played interference, you know?”

“What?!?” Kyungsoo exclaimed at the absurd question. “Of course not!”

The younger looked perplex, like he didn’t believe Kyungsoo, but he lets it go. “Then what?”

“I’ll tell everyone once they get here,” Kyungsoo says. He knows himself. Knows that he will only be able to say it once and maybe not even once. Will he be able to get it out? Why did he come here again? “I don’t want to have to say it twice.”

“Fine,” Sehun says, picking up his phone. He’s clearly not fine.

A minute of guilt scratches Kyungsoo’s chest. He does manage to get the words out eventually. “I was scared to talk to you. It’s silly in retrospect, but I was. I’m sorry.”

Another moment passes. Sehun doesn’t look up from his phone, but his tone has softened. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t,” Kyungsoo says, promises to himself.

Jongin comes in next, but barely makes a scene about Kyungsoo, exactly as predicted. “Sometimes I want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world, too. Mostly just from my professors, but sometimes everyone.”

That could have been helpful advice two months ago. Why didn’t he do this sooner?

Chanyeol is not as easy to please as Jongin. Not even close. He walks in with Baekhyun and spot Kyungsoo immediately, both having much different reactions. Chanyeol makes a noise equivalent to an affronted bird while Baekhyun is silent and much colder.

“Soo!” Chanyeol exclaims loudly as the restaurant turns to him. “Where have you been?”

“Around,” Kyungsoo answers. Baekhyun frowns, Sehun stares at him, and Chanyeol protests.

“Around meaning not around your phone?” He asks, taking a seat right next to Kyungsoo. Unlike Sehun’s anger he doesn’t even try to hide it. He isn’t sure that he has ever seen Chanyeol like this. Exasperated? Yes. Pure anger. No. His face is scrunched up and his eyes are bare.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo lets out. He’s uncomfortable, edging on unbearable. “Something happened and I overreacted.”

He doesn’t bring up Baekhyun, doesn’t want anyone blaming him. This does not appease Chanyeol in the slightest. “You over reacted about what? Us?”

“No,” Kyungsoo responded quickly. Why was communication not his strong suit? “It wasn’t about any of you at all.”

“None of us?” Baekhyun asks. He sounds skeptical, not that Kyungsoo looks at his face to get a clearer picture. The blonde is being blocked by an angry Chanyeol, but Kyungsoo is grateful for it.

Sehun, on the other hand, is trying to keep his mouth shut, eyes bouncing between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

“No, none of you.” Kyungsoo repeats himself. It wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault, none of this was Baekhyun’s fault. He may have been the catalyst, but he isn’t the one who made Kyungsoo miserable. It was the fact that Kyungsoo kept trying to consume his life with statistics when it wasn’t working out. He wishes he could see Baekhyun’s reaction, instead of Chanyeol’s disappointed one.

Chanyeol looks like Sehun did a few moments ago, completely unbelieving. “Then what? Because it sure looks like it does. You fell off every finals week, but at least you still responded.”

“I just needed time to think.”

“Think?” Chanyeol asks. “You can think with us! What was so important that you needed to think about?”

Kyungsoo knows that this is the time to say it. He practiced this exact line so many times, yet the beginning of it eludes him in the moment. Guilt creeps up on him. Embarrassment does as well. “I… uhm…. Decided to go to apply to culinary school.”

Behind Chanyeol, Baekhyun perks up, pushing his body around Chanyeol, and whipping his head towards Kyungsoo. Sehun and Jongin also are a bit shocked at the news, but regain themselves after a second. Chanyeol taps his finger on the table, unsatisfied. :You make one meal for the camping trip and all of a sudden you are having a mid-life crisis about your major? The Kyungsoo I know wouldn’t just drop out of school to become a chef.”

“I’m not dropping stats,” Kyungsoo says defensively. This is so much worst than he prepared for. “I’ve been cooking for a long time and I just realized that its what I want to do. The camping trip just made me realize it.”

“It was a good meal,” Jongin mutters. Sehun nods his head in agreement, “great meal.”

“Since when? You never talk about it?”

Kyungsoo sighs, frustrated. “I’ve been cooking for a quite a while, it just hasn’t come up. I honestly didn’t put much thought into it until recently.”

“Is that why you hate everywhere we eat?” Jongin asks. Kyungsoo nods. “Makes sense.”

“Jongin, you’re not helping.” Chanyeol grits his teeth. “It still doesn’t explain why you stopped talking to us.”

“I…” Kyungsoo tries to find the words.

“Drop it, Chan,” Baekhyun cuts in. His first words of the night. “He’s obviously struggling with this.”

Jongin speaks up, “You just needed time, right? To figure things out.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says, “I didn’t know what to do. I was being stubborn.”

“Well there you go,” Jongin dismisses it. “How long is the application? Is there like a demo needed?”

Kyungsoo’s mood picks up. That’s two out of four friends on board. This is easier to talk about. He’s _eager_ to talk about it. “There’s a written application and then an in-person demo according to their website.”

Sehun pipes up. “Only way we’ll forgive you is if you make us stuff, okay? Specifically, cookies.”

Jongin nods. “Bring them to my practices. Maybe if Minwoo gets out of shape I’ll get the Prince Siegfried role.”

The two roommates laugh. Next to him, he can still see Chanyeol is pissed off. He’s never been good about hiding his emotions, but Kyungsoo still feels guilt. He can’t see Baekhyun, but he’ll have to talk to them later. The five finish their dinner and the two roommates are quick to get out of the negative tension zone.

It leaves Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun to walk out of the restaurant together. Chanyeol calling an uber and waiting outside the pizza place. Kyungsoo stands with him, Baekhyun seemingly holding back to let the two talk.

“I’m still angry with you,” Chanyeol says.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. He isn’t sure what else he could say. “I’m sorry.”

“I just don’t get,” Chanyeol pauses, fists tightening. His voice is low, not wanting Baekhyun to hear, but filled with tension. “Why you didn’t talk to us. If you were going through a tough time, just say so. I’ve broken down multiple times, but I contacted you. Why didn’t you contact me?”

“I was scared,” Kyungsoo admits. “I though I knew what I was doing and I didn’t need help. It scared me to think I was doing something wrong.”

“I don’t get it,” Chanyeol says as his uber pulls up. Kyungsoo apologizes again as Chanyeol gets in the car. He knew that Chanyeol would be the hardest hit, but it still hurt. They’ll figure it out. They’ve never fought before, but they’ll figure it out. He hopes they do. Chanyeol calls out to Baekhyun. “Are you coming?”

“I’m going to walk,” Baekhyun answers as Chanyeol shuts the door and the uber takes off. Kyungsoo looks up at the blonde as they naturally start walking back to campus. It’s easier this way, so Kyungsoo can look forward and not at the other. It makes him nervous, jittery.

Baekhyun’s subdued. It doesn’t suit him. The Baekhyun’s that’s sharing his knowledge on astronomy night is Baekhyun, not this shell. It doesn’t take long for him to speak up. “Are you really going to apply?”

“Yeah, I am,” Kyungsoo confirms, putting power behind his words. He wants Baekhyun to know that he isn’t going to chicken out. “I was trying to give it up, but I couldn’t do it.”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I should have been there,” he says, voice laced with regret. “You were struggling and it was all because I opened my big mouth. I just left you to struggle until it was too late.”

“I was the one who pushed you away,” Kyungsoo argues, “I shouldn’t have. You know about those options you talked about that night? I needed that... I needed that and yet I pushed you away. I didn’t reach out to you or anyone.”

“I could have tried harder,” Baekhyun reiterates. Kyungsoo finally looks up to look at his face. The blonde is looking down at the ground, it’s clear that he is upset. He’s beating himself up for nothing.

“ _I_ should have said something,” Kyungsoo says, guilt clawing up this throat as he tries to talk. “But, I was so focused on stats I didn’t do anything else. I thought that everything was changing and I should have just focused on stats because it was easier than thinking about anything else. I took a cooking class to get it out of my system once and for all. To prove to myself that you were wrong and it was going to suck.”

Baekhyun turns to him, a small smirk on his face. It’s hollow. “Didn’t work, huh?”

“The instructor reminded me too much of you, but as a woman and thirty years older,” Kyungsoo admits, staring at his feet, embarrassed. He remembers to add on, “She gave me her card afterwards.”

Baekhyun lightly pushes his arm. “Get it, Soo.”

Kyungsoo pushes back at the implication. “Stop!”

The blonde chuckles. Its small, but it makes Kyungsoo feel instantly better. The tension is still there as the laughter dies down. Kyungsoo needs to break it. Needs to get some of the weight off his chest. “I’m sorry for not answering the door.”

“You’ve done enough apologizing,” Baekhyun says, lowly. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”

They don’t say anything for a while.

Kyungsoo wonders if Baekhyun really believes that it isn’t his fault. He’s about to say something about it, but Baekhyun speaks up, “When are you going to apply?”

“You know that instructor,” Kyungsoo says with a small smile, “culinary arts recruiter.”

Baekhyun stops, making Kyungsoo turn back to look at him. The blonde is staring straight at him, looking more surprised than when he recognized Kyungsoo at the pizza place. “Soo! That’s amazing! Have you called her?”

“Uh…no?”

“Soo!” Baekhyun comes up to him, maneuvering quickly to get Kyungsoo’s phone out of hand. “What’s the number?”

Kyungsoo is a bit in shock at the turn around in personality. This was the Baekhyun he was familiar with. “The card’s in my room.”

Baekhyun takes his hand and starts pulling him quickly towards Kyungsoo’s dorm. “Let’s go and call her right now!”

It takes a couple of seconds of Kyungsoo staring at his hand before he realizes that his lungs are burning from running and stops. It drags Baekhyun down as well, who tugs on his arm.

Kyungsoo’s wheezing allows him to think of the situation more clearly before he realizes the ridiculousness of it. “It’s Friday night and I haven’t even filled out the written application online!”

“Fine,” Baekhyun accepts this. “Written part tonight and call tomorrow!”

Kyungsoo straightens up. Baekhyun is looking at him with excitement, the type he had that night when he was drunkenly walking to Kyungsoo’s dorm. The type that that is present when he’s talking about his telescope.

“Will you help me?” Kyungsoo asks.

Baekhyun’s smile is blinding. “Of course I will.”

Baekhyun rushes him to his dorm, giggling as he asks about the class. Kyungsoo keeps his mind focused by recalling the class, the recipe for macarons, in detail. So much detail that he doesn’t have to realize that Baekhyun’s hand is still warm and connected to his.

It’s a rush to his room to finish the application. Baekhyun sits on his bed as he fills it in. There’s an essay about why he wants to attend the school and why he chose his major. It’s difficult. There’s still cotton in Kyungsoo’s throat when he tries to talk about it, but it’s becoming less. He feels free.

Baekhyun helps him with the essay, trying different words and phrases and clichés that all schools want to hear. The air feels light between them. Nothing like what Kyungsoo felt before at the pizza place. He’s relieved.

They fall asleep sometime in the early morning. Baekhyun slumped over next to the bed, whining that he doesn’t want to move. Kyungsoo gives him an extra comforter and pillow to keep him somewhat comfy. Kyungsoo falls asleep immediately.

He makes apple pancakes in the morning and Baekhyun drowns his in syrup and honey. They wait until it is the end of the Saturday cooking class to call Minji.

Kyungsoo types the number into his phone, his fingers shaking as he does so. Baekhyun grabs his other hand, threads his fingers through Kyungsoo’s. Gives him a small smile. Kyungsoo squeezes the hand and dials the number.

“Hello?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Reading.


End file.
